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Under my Skin

 

ink would swell, as
skin raised against
this goosebump flesh
and slid;


sleeve pulled tight -
stitched
across my thigh


we were not naked
as vigil bore
its cusp
like prayer;
fervent whispers gasped


and
shuddered


while we chanted
across two works



of art

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Option C 30-60 words

In a list

A contest entry

Critical Review Desired

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • moonbumps silver member
    September 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the Gold-well done.
    Hilly


  • delightfulmess silver member
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutly brilliant!
    Thank you for entering my contest.



    Delila


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wowzers!! I love this! Classy, sensual and a touch of the mysterious almost... stunning!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome
    How you made this image breathe, bring to life in such beautifully crafted words of sensual art
    Best wishes my nephew
    Auntie xx


  • Topaze gold member
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    As usual a brilliant write, my best wishes always.


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an Incredible poem that you've written. this is a HOT write.
    You did an Fantastic job with this poem and with the prompt..

    good luck

    kat


  • Angelflower
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG.. this was crazy good!! but why should I be surprised you really did such a great job with the picture!! Loved it! best of luck in the contest!


    Angel


  • Asylaarix
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have to agree with Jessica
    This was hot
    You created beauty with this
    Great references throughout the piece
    AMAZING!

    TT


  • KayJay
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Bravo, my friend... we both are drawn to the same image although your words are beautiful and precise drawing sensuous images from the oddity of the image... Beautifully penned. This will touch Jacks, no doubt, right on her libido
    Ken


    • Age of Rain
      September 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      heheh. it seems we commented each other simultaneously as well. *grins* Thanks!


  • notorious gold member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh God.
    LMAO...

    Coolio reference to the tattoos.

    "goose-bump"
    Unneeded hyphen...although, if you meant to create an effect of some type, you should explain it to me.

    Good use of 'stitched' too...although...ew...LMAO!

    "two works/of art"
    Definitely works with the pic and the context with a side of cheesy (but it fits like my favorite pair of jeans )

    You have to place.

    Jessica
    666

1 - 13 of 13