I'm cleaning out the attic
The dust, the dirt, and grime.
I try to be pragmatic
Proclaim that it is time,
Time to scrub, to sigh, and to cry
Knowing you never were mine.
Your crimson rose is lying
Withering by degrees.
It’s faded, close to dying
On the piano keys,
Keys you grew tired of playing
Even a simple reprise.
With care, I dust your pictures.
(Frames get an extra shine.)
Some of them are now obscure.
I've long-since been resigned,
Resigned to see your faded face
Echoing for all of time.
A cage hangs from a bird’s post
Adorned with gilding gold.
It’s hardly a cause to boast.
Blackened with age and mold,
Mold to smother the bright songbird
When it grows tired and old.
I polish up the dresser
Open its drawers with care.
Now I'm its sole possessor;
It’s my burden to bear,
Bear and never return to you
That is the task of the heir.
I walk down memory lanes,
People, places, and things
Forgotten and dusty names,
My mother’s wedding rings,
Rings that never will grace my hand,
And all the regrets they bring.
Each oddment I recover
Recalls a wasted wish.
The more that I discover
The faster I dismiss,
Dismiss these black and dying dreams,
Banish them to their abyss.
Author notes
Written for checkmate's prompt, "memory lanes and forgotten names"
A contest entry
- Proudly Presenting: ROUND 2 (: by Walk-Free.
1500 points, ended October 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Here's Your Chance to Get that Trophy You Deserved! by TabbyCat.
1200 points, ended October 29, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The One that Got Away by in silver script.
850 points, ended November 19, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My First Contest Ever!! :D by XxLoverOfDarknessxX.
900 points, ended January 20, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - YOU, ALL ABOUT YOU Enter Whatever (PWs allowed) by Intricate Wordsmith.
625 points, ended February 2, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sad, Upset, Hurt, Betrayed? by starving4perfection.
1550 points, ended April 26, 157 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Everything! [Prewrites Allowed] by Captain Amber SL.
700 points, ended April 26, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - must rhyme by babyseal.
400 points, ends December 6, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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You did a wonderful job with this quote-
While reading the poem, I was wondering all the while what the inspiration behind it was, and really enjoyed reading it while I was -
Great job at the rhyming scheme, and you portrayed a fantastic feeling of nostaglia and bittersweet memories!
Enjoyed reading this - thank you for entering
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wow that was amazing...i loved it!
"Each oddment I recover
Recalls a wasted wish.
The more that I discover
The faster I dismiss,
Dismiss these black and dying dreams,
Banish them to their abyss."
thanks so much for the entry and good luck
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i thought that this was very good, and i enjoyed it very very much. please keep up the good work! good luck in the contest!
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"Your crimson rose is lying
Withering by degrees.
It’s faded, close to dying
On the piano keys,
Keys you grew tired of playing
Even a simple reprise."
Beautiful. You have a way with words.
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I like this. The rhyme is great and so is the flow. Always nice when both are good. Nice imagery too ... thanks for entering
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......wow. I really love this. One of my favorites so far. Great job!
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Sad when things come to an end before we want them to. Sadness permeats this write. Nice rhyme although the flow needs a tad of work here and there. Nothing major and it could be me ... thank you for entering
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i like this... thanks for entering
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This is such a cool poem. I loved the descriptiveness. It was written with such pain and heartache. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
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Thank you for your powerfully expressed entry, Josie
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Two parts really stood out to me. One was the last line. Powerdrful in its hopeless finality. the other was the part about your mother's wedding rings. It tugged at my heartstrings.
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oh wow. This is so depressing. To bring up memories and find them wanting. thanks for shring this and thanks for entering this into my contest.
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This is good. So did you choose option 2?
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omg! thats beautiful! i truely love this poem. thanx so much for entering and good luck.
*hugs* tay/tess.
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This is wonderful... I love poems that convey emotions through imagery like you have here, especially the rhyme as well. Thanks for entering this unique write. Shya
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This is really good. My favorite part: Each oddment I recover Recalls a wasted wish. This poem feels so melancholy.
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This is truly a great piece. You had me at the title, and that was just the beginning. Rhyming pragmatic/attic is inspired and far more interesting than the trite rhyming that most have to resort to. In fact the rhyming through the whole piece felt unforced and remained interesting and the rhyme scheme was somewhat atypical which was a nice change of pace.
I also love how you set the scene in the attic and allow the main theme of the poem to slowly creep in with a hint in the end of the first stanza, a little imagery in the second, and a slightly clearer image in the third.
All this leads up to a great finish.
A great write from beginning to end. Best of luck in all contests.
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Beautiful, well worded, Full of emotion great piece i'm glad i took the time to read it hope to see more of you writings.
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congruatulations on making it to the next round!
here's the link of the last contest. please do enter because we have fallen in love with your poems (:
http://allpoetry.com/contest/show/2423543# -
wow
This was a very good write.. you expressed your emotions well!! I really enjoyed reading this write...
with care, I dust your pictures.
(Frames get an extra shine.)
Some of them are now obscure.
I've long-since been resigned,
I really like that part!!!
Keep up the great work and good luck in my contest!
SHannon*Leah -
oh my god
this is sooo beautiful! i love how you've put this phrase into deeper words. it's definietely a creative one, and i gotta give it to you for penneing it in such a stunning way! keep penning
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Nicely written ...loved the flow of it .....Thanks for sharing
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wow!
This is a lovely poem. It is amazing that you didn't use the prompt exactly. It shows your versatility.
The imagery was very good and the melancholy feel rings through the poem. The poem is very real and it was alomost painful to read.
I almost looked past the rhyme if not for TheGreatestLove's comment. 
a very good piece overall. good luck!!
loveees,
transit~
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please credit the phrase to checkmate
i thought this was very beautiful.
my favourite stanza was this:
"Your crimson rose is lying
Withering by degrees.
It’s faded, close to dying
On the piano keys,
Keys you grew tired of playing
Even a simple reprise."
the rhyming was next to perfect in my opinion.
well done
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