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But Still I Shiver

 

 

 

 

 

 

A second chance ...

to depend on life's broken record

repeating and repeating mistakes

 

Too many times to count

have I lost the battle

judging and tormenting myself

 

Awaken to your lies

beaten by your promises

I sip away at life's glass of pity

 

From the depth of tomorrow

and between the sorrows of today

I chew off the bitter ends of now

 

Your hands smell of gasoline

and your mouth of sweet venom

leaving a trace of musk upon my stomach

 

Glancing from far left

I see your face once more

my body left alone

 

To you I say thanks

For leaving me bound and broken

shackled to my own fathomed existence

 

 

 

 

 

shivering ...

and bloody ...

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17
  • gulps***

    this really is it, the most imagery filled poem of the day, no lie, I can see a small frail being being dipped out of a silver cup and being poured out into a ribbon of blood that's floating in a dark exsistance and there inside that ribbon that frail being dances a dance of sorrow of lost and then I feel very hate filled at the end. Don't ask why but that could be because I'm listening to Angry Chair by Alice in Chains lol. Yes that might be it, mixed with this poem it's the perfect duo!!!

    love ya
    ~~


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    September 27, 2008

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    Stunning ending, almost haunting
    Very strong words, powerful ones
    Almost seeming to try to draw conviction to some for all the wrong-doings they have done

    This was a magnificent poem.


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    September 25, 2008

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    WOW!!! This is a gut-wrenching confession of the heart and tormented soul...I can't pick which lines spoke to my the most, because the whole poem is so riveting...You, my dear, are a very talented poet...


  • Age of Rain
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very heartwrenching, painful, and overall, good. I felt the imagery was solid and the background and font expressive of the content. Well done.


  • PerfectImperfection
    September 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a painful piece of memory pleading on, thoughtful and pained.

    "Awaken to your lies
    beaten by your promises
    I sip away at life's glass of pity"

    .. this stated much of the poem as a whole, filled with much emotion (awakened would sound smoother I believe) ..

    Nice write!


  • Re-invention silver member
    September 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow.... im in awe... heavy write! veyr well penned and very dark indeed.. excellent job here.. nicely done!


  • still.she.waits
    September 17, 2008

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    i love the utter finality of this. stuck in that same circle of never ending sameness. your muse hasnt left you, s/he just needed a dose of reality to get back into that monday thru friday 9-5 swing.

    powerfully penned. good job.


  • stylization
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, very beautiful. There was emotion and passion in this write; it's distant and close-by all at once. Fantastic write.


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great write

    Your pieces are always so well penned, and full of emotion i enjoy reading your poems. they hold such meaning in them that i can relate to, thank you for sharing

    Rend


  • motel silver member
    September 16, 2008

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    a very charged write ... the imagery is very personal and yet at the same time, one can relate completely.
    thanks.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I can definitely see myself in those lines!

    Fabulous write hun!!


  • Dirty and Broken
    September 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow...just...wow...amazing....O.O...


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That was absolutely fabulous. You will see it tomorrow as POD.
    Write on!
    ~*~SP~*~


    • Asylaarix
      September 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Really??
      Sweet! Thank you so much hun!
      I'm glad that you liked it!
      It was one of the firsts for me
      coming back from having writers block
      Thank you again
      I'm so happy!

      TT


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah...no words for comments..a great poetry..a painful truth you have portrayed...thanks for shariang it...my friend..


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 13, 2008

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    my dear sweet daughter your muse hasn't gone anywhere it shines through out this poem. it's excellent.. you've done a Fantastic job with it. this poem is filled with pain, and darkness is all through it.. your emotions can be felt, and I did feel them each word and line that I read. I'm here for you, never forget that.

    I love you

    good luck in the contes

    mommy


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very sad and heart breaking.
    What a terrible feeling to be in this
    position. Great work expressing yourself
    in this write. Good luck to you!




    Jeremy0826

1 - 17 of 17