Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Alaskan Loch Lohman (to the chorus of Banks of Loch Lohman)

Oh I'm against teen pregnancy,
but I'm also against gay sex.
And when it comes to POV;
Well  all mine are certain wrecks.

I've got dead-ends, like split-ends twisted in my hair.
And the only reason Johnny took me on,
is because he saw me bear.

Oh you take the left wing and I'll take the right,
and we'll see who's standin' at the end of endless night.

I don't like black people, and I really hate the Queens;
but the truth is, my infant's retarded and I think so might be meeeeee!

Author notes

If you coldn't tell by this little morsel, I don't like her.  I really don't.

I tried to get the last stanza to rhyme a little better, but it doesn't seem to want to go that way.

 

EDDIE IZZARD, FORGIVE ME!

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • sportsgirl
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    i love this poem. its


  • wohadreambig
    November 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very nicely done piece. I liked the flow to it. Good job!


  • KayJay
    October 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Whoops... forgot the applause LOL

  • KayJay
    October 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Picky picky It's the spirit of this that counts A witty write that pokes fun at her candidacy and our lunacy... I was going to work in "nailin Palin" but stopped short... I'm not sure McCain could handle it and then she would be running for President! Well done and best of luck.
    Ken


  • Edna Sweetlove
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "is because he saw me bear" is a very interesting line, either because it shows a wonderful mis-spelling (bare vs bear) or an equally wonderful grammatical error (my vs me). No matter which, it's the thought which counts.

    Also I am intrigued: which queen does she oppose and why?


  • Barry Hodges
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Unfortunately this witty piece doesn't fit at all to the tune of the song.

    Is Loch Lohman in Israel perhaps? Or maybe it's the Israeli name for Loch Lomond.


  • C.I.M.A Punk
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It put a smile on my face and it is close to the original song.
    Well done and keep on writing.

    P.S. To what news event is this referring to (for the contest)?


  • Asylaarix
    September 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was too funny.
    Nicely done
    I had a nice laugh
    Keep them coming
    Good luck to you!

    TT

1 - 8 of 8