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Death of a Broken Planet


DEATH OF A BROKEN PLANET

By ROBERT DAVIDSON


Often  it  seems  like  I  have  betrayed  my  world
like  a  rough  lover,  mauling
bruising  his  woman  in  the  dark - 
leaving  marks  upon  her  skin

In  my  bomb  shelter - I  perch  on  the  very  edge
as  greenhouse  gases befoul  the  air
and  choke  me  like  traffic  fumes.
I  watch  my  planet  burn  out
like  the  woman  I  once  raped  and  left  to  rot

Along  my  streets  the  newsboys  cry
the  old  burnt-out  world  is  dead - a  stillborn  babe
as  sick  cities  fall  like  crumbling  Babylons

My  own  stumblings  are  on  stony  ground
as  my  planet  withers - becomes  a  barren  moonscape
with  detonations  inevitable  as  fallout.
Fear  crawls  like  a  lizard  on  my  skin
while  mushroom  clouds  maul  her  torn-apart  face

Oh  yes,  I  buried  the  waste,  that
one  day  will  poison  my  child.

The  broken  body  of  my  world
lies  prostrate  like  my  wife  when  beaten  by  her  husband - 
Such  was  the  surrender  I  wanted

But  she  will  not  be  mine  to  rob  and  rape  again
for  my  broken  planet  dies -  Guernica, Hiroshima,  Chernobyl

Her  womb  becomes  my  tomb.

Copyright 2008 robertdavidson






A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 47 of 47

  • Ken-Maverick
    September 20

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    VIEWED

    "My own stumblings are on stony ground
    as my planet withers - becomes a barren moonscape
    with detonations inevitable as fallout.
    Fear crawls like a lizard on my skin
    while mushroom clouds maul her torn-apart face"
    I like your wording here. Nicely done poet.
    All the best with this.

    Ken


  • jessifer1792
    July 16

    Edit | Reply

    hmmm.

    This was very deep. It was much more than I was expecting, for sure. A very well penned write. Very thought provoking... great job here.


  • kales411
    May 12
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    whoa thats deep
    i liked it
    great write


  • Deceits Tears silver member
    May 5

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    Very very powerful write, the entire piece was an eye opener indeed
    Thankyou for your entry and the experience
    Good Luck to you


  • poetryality silver member
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You've shared this writ in many challenges. That is good in a way because this is one avenue to get the brutalization of our planet to the forefront. You've used extreme lines here poet;

    "I watch my planet burn out
    like the woman I once raped and left to rot"

    Your first stanza is also an example of making things huge while you hold the reader's attention.

    And another;

    "The broken body of my world
    lies prostrate like my wife when beaten by her husband -"

    Brilliant last line. Thank You for entry in my contest, although it has closed and been judged . I wish you well in all the other contest.



    Much Love & Respect ♥

    Renee

  • ElectricBloom
    November 19, 2008
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    I've read this over and over -
    what a fantastic piece of writting.
    a truly brilliant poem.

    i love all the metaphor and imagery and all the other poetic devices and just everything.

    i would pick out some favorite lines, but i seriously love it all.

    this is one of those poems i shall re visit time and time again!

    ElectricBloom


  • Kiss the girl--x
    November 15, 2008

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    this was really deep, and completely unlike anything i've ever read before, but i think thats a good thing, i really liked this.

    thanks for entering
    ♥


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    November 12, 2008

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    This is a really cool poem. The end was kinda sad. But this poem makes one think. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest


  • Symphony
    November 10, 2008

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    I'm sure that I must have possible read this before, it sounds familiar - certainly I know that I have read your works before [you gave away who you are at the top of the poem] and this, gosh, so vivid ....

    Well, what can I say, I have no criticism for sure, you're a master of poetry far above my level - and a very unique writer in your imagery, and the way you enthrall the senses to play a part in reading, listening, hearing, tasting, seeing, etc. Quite remarkable if I do say so!

    Thank you for entering


  • leander Moderators member
    November 3, 2008

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    I really like this one... The poem is very discriptive and you've a stellar use of poetic devices...

    Thank you for the entry!
    Leander


  • TabbyCat
    November 2, 2008

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    Very powerful...with a clear, thought provoking, conviction messgae. Your use of simile was very effective...emphasizing the foolish callousness of those who abuse the world we have been blessed with. Nicely done.


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    November 2, 2008
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    Deep meaning in this, Great write.


  • Girl Mad As Birds
    October 27, 2008

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    Wow this is dark and frightening, it's great! A very unique piece and with the themes running deep.

    Thanks for entering!


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    October 27, 2008

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    Thought I had commented on this one before but I suppose I have not so I shall this time 'round.

    Your narator (for lack of a better word) seems to be considering two different situations as she binds them together as though to make them into the same situation. One is the rape, abuse, and murder of his wife by himself (I do believe) and the other is the abuse and use of the planet on which he resides (currect me if I'm wrong here). So in this you seem to be pointing out that humanity uses what it has and that it all will come back to haunt and possibly kill us? Very intriguing. This isn't the first poem about humanities abuse of the planet but it is the most creative. I very much enjoyed this, I found it to be wonderfully writen and very well thought out. Thank you for entering my contest.

  • headintheclouds
    October 27, 2008

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    What a very deep poem. I like how this is about global warming that is very important!Good write! Good Luck in my contest. Thanks for entering!


  • trekkergirl
    October 24, 2008

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    This is a very deep and emotional poem. Congrats on the trophies that it has won. Thanks for entering this in my contest. I appreciate you sharing this with us.


  • Painted Nails
    October 18, 2008
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    this is very emotional. Great write!!! Thanks for entering and good luck!
    Sydney


  • Swan song gold member
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Exeedinly dark but well crafted a tribute to your talent


  • Randomly Beautiful
    October 18, 2008
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    Much appreciation for this.


  • dewfall
    October 17, 2008
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    hmmm


  • ProudMomma
    October 16, 2008

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    OMG WOW( this totally made me sad.. I didn't really think this was about abortion til the end wow great write! I'm actually almost speechless


  • ylova
    October 14, 2008

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    Oh wow! I really liked this. Like the story a lot. Well done! Good luck.
    http://allpoetry.com/poem/4620889


  • Timespell
    October 14, 2008

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    Not Bad, I liked the way you told this story. And a lot of storyline made sense.

    Good luck in the contest.

    Have a look at my entry's:

    The Hitchhiker: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3763574
    The Pastor: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3772812


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Her womb becomes my tomb"

    Love this line. Really profound. Their is some great imagery in this piece. I like that you "take blame" for earth's demise - we all are guilty to one degree of another.

    My poem: http://allpoetry.com/poem/2795246


  • bobanonymous gold member
    October 10, 2008
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    Th

    Hallelujah
    I can't wait until this day doesn't come


  • Tercil gold member
    October 6, 2008

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    As I can see by the multitude of entries this has been given, I can see this must be one of your favourites. For me, this seems like the unborn child, and the planet in a nutshell, is every thing that surounds us like a bubble, the world is ours, the womb, a babies, and like wise the unknown faiths that we bring our minds to think upon. Also, this could be a baby that was not born to termination, so congrats on giving a diverse insight from your poem, Sir Titus Llewellyn.


  • spideracer gold member
    October 6, 2008
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    Wow that's dark

    I think deserving of bronze or above, it is dark and well written.
    http://allpoetry.com/spideracer


  • Kimojuno
    October 6, 2008

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    The poem is wonderfully written and shows the fear, and the guilt, that you the writer has. Wonderfully done.

    Jeff.


  • bobanonymous gold member
    October 3, 2008
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    Thanks for the entry

    Now that's exactly what I was thinking


  • Edited
    October 3, 2008

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    Thnks

    Thanks for your entry it was a pleasure to read, hopefuly you will get gold it the couple of contests abouve.


  • catalyst.
    October 2, 2008
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    I beleive this poem was in one of my previous contests but I'll comment again because I see this in a new light this time.
    This poem has such great imagery with a subtle undertone of emotion. I like that. Not overflowing but not completely distatched.

    and once again I'll point out that I love the twist at the end


  • BehindTheShadow
    October 2, 2008
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    Great use of metaphor and imagery, an eye-opening piece. Thank you.


  • kkatie55
    October 2, 2008
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    SAD REALITY

    this is common to life and I am so glad for the last line ...Her womb becomes my tomb.

    katie


  • Venus25
    October 2, 2008
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    Brillo pads!

    Simply love this


  • Anguas-Confusion gold member
    October 2, 2008

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    Dark and twisted or WHAT! well done... great write! fancy checking out my entry? this is really well written. best of luck xx


  • Tehuni
    September 27, 2008

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    I love the connection between raping a woman and the way we are raping the mother earth for our selfish wants and needs. The title is a bit melodramatic, and the end lacks the energy that the rest of the poem had, but this is a very passionate poem


  • peregrin
    September 26, 2008
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    This is... not exactly what I was looking for.
    But, none the less, it is ...
    wow,
    it is different.


  • KafkasCat
    September 25, 2008
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    Man, that is some harsh, powerful imagery. Really makes you think about what we are doing to the world. The parts about beating a woman were uncomfortable but I think that is the desired effect, a metaphor for the destruction of something innocent and defenceless, it really helps put it into context. Great work.

  • WithoutWings
    September 25, 2008

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    I love the idea of the world as a loved one. We wouldn't damage a loved one the way we damage the world. Our cruelty and the atrocities we commit, will end it all, with no way to fix it.


  • usually-untitled
    September 22, 2008

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    hmmm.
    i love all the allusions and imagery. this was an enjoyable read, though it made me a bit ashamed to be human.
    thanks for entering!


  • mysticstorm gold member
    September 22, 2008
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    This is beautiful and says so much...I know this feeling I have written on it often and it saddens my heart for the damage we have done to her and the feelings of what we are really leaving behind for our children to live in...
    Excellent!
    Best to you!
    mystic

  • Writing0Freedom
    September 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful and its a really powerful tribute to the world we are destroying. This is a very just cause and I loved reading this. The emotion and metaphor in this was outstanding! I like
    as sick cities fall like crumbling Babylons
    Its an amazing piece of poetry, and that line to me was just so amazing!
    Thank you for entering!
    WritingFree


  • upperworld06
    September 19, 2008

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    wow. its so sad yet true. i like the whole thing, expecially the metaphores you used. good job and good luck


  • catalyst.
    September 17, 2008
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    her womb becomes my tomb, i loved the twist at the end


  • fairytalelovestory
    September 17, 2008
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    great poem good luck


  • islekine silver member
    September 16, 2008

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    Love where you took this...

    Very well penned!! Not quite what I had in mind for this contest....thanks for entering...and sharing...
    I enjoyed it muchly!!
    Write on!


  • nearlycivilized
    September 13, 2008

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    This is awesome. I love the metaphor you use about a woman and child. You've created a wonderful association between the human body and the city. I think it really draws attention to the attacks of those cities because it adds an element one can personally relate to even if they have never experienced anything like those attacks. To me, when I think of a city I think about concrete, not the people in them, not those who suffer and I think I may not be alone in that. Great Work.

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