Jack and Jill
went up the hill,
but not just for the water,
when Jill conceived
Jack took his leave
for greener fields and fodder.
A single mother, on her own,
was not the dream she’d had,
a bridal gown, in satin white,
she'd never now be clad.
While waiting tables for her food
she met another Jack,
but he was straying from his wife
and morals he did lack.
She struggled through her life alone
while looking for her prince,
but never met that ‘perfect one’
the walls she’d built were dense.
Her tears were spent, her trust was gone
she let no-one get close,
she spent her nights in misery
while pining for a ghost.
Author notes
I didn't use the picture.....http://dholl.deviantart.com/art/Target-the-Heart-28916101
I don't know if this is what you are looking for or not, but if I had a daughter, this is the type of 'fairy-tale' I'd prefer to read to her as I think it is probably more realistic.
(bg made for me by AngelWithDarkWings - thanks kat!)
A contest entry
- FOR THOSE THAT ARE SICK OF HAPPILY EVER AFTER by jcat.
875 points, ended September 20, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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CONGRATULATIONS ON THE GOLD TROPHY.!!!! YEAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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Thanks kat - I was very happy to get a Gold on this one...
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Sad but soo true never the fairy tale we want
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Thank you 'Swan song' for reading - glad you enjoyed this.
yes, unfortunately this is the fairy tale I see depicted in life today...
best wishes
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Wow , great stuff... seems you have a direct line to my own heart... I am in that place of lack of trust, it is now dead and buried. I must change my name to Jill !!!
congrats on your gold trophy
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Thank you so much 'jill'
- I am so pleased you liked this.
I think most people have a problem with 'lack of trust' - and that's not always a bad thing. ....
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Brilliant!!!!!
It's a shame she built those walls.. but I guess we all do when we've been hurt as such!
This was so well deserving of that Gold trophy hun!
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Thank you kiwi - so glad you enjoyed.
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Awesomness
LOL that was like the best twisty tale ive read yet 
Love love Looooove it.
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Thank you so much 'Darkwell' - I am pleased you enjoyed my 'twisty tale'
I think it's sure much more realistic than a prince, carrying a glass shoe, coming around looking for you...lololol
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yah princes got people for that
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Somehow you nailed my life to perfection.......And I wonder why I am a cynic???? Hmmmmm......Thank you for your entry
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Thank you so much 'jcat' for the gold!! I was shocked, but pleased - you have no idea how that brightened my day...
I am honored - thank you.
I am sorry to hear your life paralleled (sp?) this write. I watched my girl-friends go through this time and time - and time - again. I myself was never a single mom - unless it was by MY choice - but I sure ran into a LOT of 'straying jacks'!!!
Again, thank you SO much!
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Love this...
Impressive!!!
Clever, thoughtful & strangely amusing in its familiarity with the original nursery rhyme...
Read beautifully at the same tempo/rhythm/meter as its predecessor & had me captivated throughout in its honesty & profound grounding in reality...
Yet another fantastic write...
Well done!!!
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Thank you 'Fritz' - I'm pleased you liked my 'modern' fairy tale...lol....it's just what I seem to see all around me anymore
It's nice to dream though.....
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No probs, it was my pleasure...
Yeah sadly, the world has become a cold harsh place where dreams are so easily crushed as you have expertly & eloquently expressed here...
Take care,
Fritz.....
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Excellent
Excellent in all phases--
Excellent take on the prompt and flawless flow of the unforced rhyming verse.
Profound with the imagery conveyed and very sincere & heartfelt.
Deserves Gold in my opinion!
Well Done & Best of luck in the contest!
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Thank you so much 'BuriedTreasures' for such a wonderful comment - I appreciate it, and am pleased you enjoyed this write.
best wishes
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Wow Jan...
Another great write....I'm going to read this to my grand daughter.....keep it in her fairy tale stories...
lol.....so true in so many cases....
sad, little piece.....but cute! lol
write on!
Best wishes in the contest!
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Thank you islekine - glad you enjoyed.
I see so much of this type of 'fairy tale' around me - seems like life is much more like this now than what we were taught when we grew up ....the happily ever after (or if not 'happily' at least the 'until DEATH do you part'...lololol)
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Those happy ever afters..
Well hunni you have penned the sick side of those times brilliantly !
I loved the story you built with this one..
How many teenagers etc are left those single Mum's, and us Mum's who's hubbies get the vein excuse of Mid Life Crisis and off the wonder into the sunset where they believe the grass is indeed greener!
Well done and best wishes in the contest
Julie x
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Thank you Julie - I am glad you enjoyed this.
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This is great! An 'eyes opened' view of the old tale! Best to you in the contest!
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Thank you Neon - glad you enjoyed. Much more realistic than the princes on white horses and 'happily ever after'....lol
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Oh yes much more what actually happens! These happy ever afters are so rare these days (tho they can happen!). Excellent poem hunni, will be showing my girl it for sure! Good luck
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Thank you LadyD - glad you enjoyed my modern version of an out-dated fairy tale
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This is amazing! I am very impressed with this verse...the soul of it and the way you created a fairy tale feel...just simply a wonderful write in all ways.
Very nice~
Az
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Thank you so much Az - glad you liked this.
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omg..that is amazing..realistic fairytales..the bite of sadness..and always the pursuit of pleasure..excellent write..thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest..although for me..this smells like a trophy..blessings..namaste..
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Thank you so much 'vici377' - glad you enjoyed my 'twisted fairy tale'...lol...although I do think it is much more realistic than the ones we learned
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oh my, i loved this poem. it took a children's classic and turnede it in to so much more. we have grown up dreaming of the white weddign like you described in the poem, but now you bring out the reality that actually hits us in the face later in life.
She struggled through her life alone
while looking for her prince,
but never met that ‘perfect one’
the walls she’d built were dense.
i loved that stanza. it was absolutely amazing!
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Thank you 'Lexie' - glad you enjoyed.
I guess this is just the way I see the 'fairy tales' happening around me....
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yep realistic is the best way to go.. too many of us have grown up on the fairy tales where the little girls are Cinderella and the boys are always the knight in shinning armor .. oops sorry about that.. Your poem is excellent.. I think I'm in a bit of trouble here. competition is getting fierce.
good luck in the contest
kat
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Thank you so much kat - glad you enjoyed this.
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Kuddos
Love it
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Thank you Starz - glad you liked this.
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