I sit enraptured by your darling face
and smile as you form bubbles, trying words.
For I have waited all my life to hold
a smaller version of the man I love.
While you are gazing back into my eyes
we form a bond to last ‘til end of days.
You still have trouble sorting nights from days
and tears sometimes contort your handsome face.
I wait for smiles that move from lips to eyes,
a sheer delight that has no need for words
since language of the body signals love
and tiny fingers search for mine to hold.
Your father promised we would have and hold;
be faithful to each other every day,
and when we stood and made our vows of love
we saw no problems that we could not face.
These guarantees meant more to us than words
as teardrops slowly fell from both my eyes.
I notice that you have your grandpa’s eyes
whose middle name we’ve given you to hold;
a bond of generations beyond words,
a heritage of Scotland’s glory days.
We want you to stare hatred in the face
and continue with his legacy of love.
You are the product of your parents’ love,
a blessing and a treasure in our eyes,
and every time we see you make a face
you give us precious memories to hold;
such mundane things as we live day to day
but more important than poetic words.
I want to teach the magic power of words
and how your tone can signal hate or love;
to guide your training in the coming days
and always be a model in your eyes.
I won’t betray the secrets that I hold
or lie to you in order to save face.
There are no words, so look into my eyes
and see the love that I will always hold
for you each day, no matter what we face.
Author notes
For my son Eric Douglas, born 7/11/08.
The sestina is a strict ordered form of poetry, dating back to twelfth century French troubadours. It consists of six six-line (sestets) stanzas followed by a three-line envoy.
Rather than use a rhyme scheme, the six ending words of the first stanza are repeated as the ending words of the other five stanzas in a set pattern. The envoy uses two of the ending words per line, again in a set pattern.
First stanza, ..1 ..2 ..3 ..4 ..5 ..6
Second stanza, ..6 ..1 ..5 .. 2 ..4 ..3
Third stanza, ..3 ..6 ..4 ..1 ..2 ..5
Fourth stanza, ..5 ..3 ..2 ..6 ..1 ..4
Fifth stanza, ..4 ..5 ..1 ..3 ..6 ..2
Sixth stanza, ..2 ..4 ..6 ..5 ..3 ..1
Concluding tercet:
middle of first line ..2, end of first line ..5
middle of second line ..4, end of second line..3
middle if third line ..6, end of third line ..1
In a list
A contest entry
- SESTINA CONTEST by Swan song.
3700 points, ended September 19, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form poetry by rinzurajan.
800 points, ended May 18, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How do you think I could improve this poem?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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SO SWEET
WELL DONE
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I am amazed...u have done it in the strict order of sestina and more so the emotions pouring out are wonderful.somewhere down the line i felt that i had written this one,because i could relate to every line u wrote...
amazing...
Good luck
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Fantastic poem, I love the way it involves the reader. I think this would be good to be read out loud. I don't know if you do readings but at least read it to your friends, it deserves a hearing.
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A fascinating sestina, filled with love and wonderful thoughts. I know you will treasure this one forever!
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I hope that you keep a version of this poem in a safe place, your son will treasure it one day.
I love the form and the repeating words, it's a beautiful creation.
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very well done
This is every mother's wish, and the triplet at the end was a wonderful end to it.
"such mundane things as we live day to day
but more important than poetic words."
Love, work, honour, heritage, these are necessary to remember. I enjoyed this sestina, bravo for your effort and sentiment, and the trophy too.
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Congratulations to Eric Douglas on having such a wonderfully poetic mother. I was unable to do the maths on the form - as you wrote this so beautifully that my eyes misted over! These words will be treasure to your son.
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This was a truly stunnning Sestina thank you for entering You penned this very very well
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This is a beautiful poem for Eric and the best sestina I've read for a very long time.
Just Me
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A touching subject on top of a difficult task in which you've woven a private life situation into a lovely piece. Thank you for entering!
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One day I might brave the world of such a difficult form, but until then, I will continue to find myself marveling in how well you manipulate them. You had my Mommy tears welled up. I have had the same thoughts, spoken the same promises, wondered at the same magnificence. This is truly touching, and so very beautiful. I loved your descriptions of Eric's face, and most especially how his smile moved from lips to eyes. Isn't that a beautiful thing? Just loved this, girl.
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The miracle never grows old - how we, as mothers and fathers, are allowed to participate in the creation of life. Part of me can't wait to see the next stage of development and part of me wants him to stay this way forever. Liz
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All I can say is TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES cause it goes by soooooo quickly. If you start to miss the earlier stages, you can always have seven or eight more.
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An excellent first sestina. You picked an excellent subject matter. A mother's love for hsr child never gets old, even in the sixth verse. Bravo.
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Thank you for your kind comment. This form of poetry has always seem so daunting. It was fun to get my feet wet and, for me, the subject was a natural. Peace, Liz
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This is a lovely poem
with lingering affect as one reads it. It truly portrays the dynamics of communication through the eyes. No matter how you 'look' at the words contained in this poem, the 'underlying message' of love, in and through the eyes keep it focus. Eyes cannot lie. It must have been a beautiful moment. My blessing to you and your husband on this wonderful journey. Frans
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Both of us are enjoying our new adventure very much. Even the spitting up and the nighttime walks to settle a tummy are fine because we both waited so long for this moment. Thank you for your comment. Peace, Liz
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Ah, the joys
of parenthood. It takes me back more than 20 years to the time I could hold my daughters on my lap. Be blessed. Frans
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Such a tender, beautiful treasure you have created for Eric! This part really got to me,
"since language of the body signals love
and tiny fingers search for mine to hold."
You have infused great warmth into this form, and it certainly does look like a challenging one!
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Today I am writing just for me. This may not be fabulous verse, but as I was sitting here this afternoon holding him in my arms, I felt the need to write. I wanted to record this moment because he is growing up so fast. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I can't wait to see what happens in the Poets Survivor contest. All three of you are worthy competitors. Peace
Liz
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