Within my clandestine thoughts,
I dance upon constellations
like some forbidden fairy
lost in someone else's dream.
There is only darkness
in this place,
and I confess, these petals I pick;
are only water color flowers
created by teardrops
and the ink of this poet's pen.
I have whispered love
softly in shadows
and hushed my heart;
held it to a flutter
these emotions left unspoken
until the sun rose in his eyes
Now all I see is his smile
his love that takes me away
from this gray cloud of despair
this backdrop, void of color
where I had become just a prop.
How can one claim to love,
yet steal your light?
So, I must take my own advice
at last, and follow my heart,
for what is a poet
without her passion...
♥♥
~
Author notes
inspired by the pic supplied by the host
my Cuz Errant Panther
A contest entry
- Do What You Do Best by Errant Panther.
450 points, ended September 18, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Congratulations on the bronze cup. I can clearly see why this placed in the contest. I really loved your ending stanza...
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"for what is a poet without her passion" .... indeed. I knew you wouldn't be able to help yourself to see the romantic side of this image. such soft captivating imagery that just glides off the tongue like a kiss - I might just use that line lol. wonderful use of poetic devices - alliteration etc. great job with the prompt.
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Lynda
I believe i have said it before when it comes to free verse i have found no one to surpass you on this site. You have a wonderful way with the use of the English (American)language
It is always more than a pleasure to visit your little corner of the poetry world
Excellent
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Sigh~ You are always too kind to me but I will take your comment and treasure it
TY my friend ...Every so often I go back to my roots and write a rhyming poem
I should do that soon
Ty for visiting me
Lynda
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Excellent!
First..sssssssssssss
and a.. totally beautiful and about time expressed from your heart
and a....love ya bff to boot!
Jazzy
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this has so much emotion in it and it ends in a triumph of your spirit. i love this part
How can one claim to love,
yet steal your light?
So, I must take my own advice
at last, and follow my heart,
for what is a poet
without her passion...
the chinese letters image you see means passion
and you're so right too. this poem is just beautiful about awakening love and feelings 
lovely
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lovedd it
wow it reaay made me think loved it
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"I dance upon constellations
like some forbidden fairy
lost in someone else's dream."
This stanza feels so lost. It is someone elses dream and you are a forbidden treasure. Very sad.
The words that follow only echo this.
"until the sun rose in his eyes
Now all I see is his smile
his love that takes me away
from this gray cloud of despair
this backdrop, void of color
where I had become just a prop."
Then as the shadows, dispair, depression, whatever leaves you are joyous but still untrusting of what is before you. Why else spend so much time on what once was.
Yes follow your passions, but without being lost. We want our poet, wild, free and vibrant able to ride the currents both wild and peaceful of her love.
Enjoyed this. The opening was so strong that I am not sure you need to emphasize it. It too easily becomes maudlin when over stated. You need to trust you strength as a poet in being able to say a lot with a little and your audience to receive your gifts with understanding. Just my thoughts.
Love, Tom B.
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This is amazingly beautiful! What a
soft and romantically sweet and wonderful
thought for this picture. Lovely work
as always my friend. Good luck to you
and keep it up!
Jeremy0826
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I agree that this is amazing! Some just have that special talent for free verse. YOu are definetley one of those people! Enjoyed the read!
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wow, i loved it, this poem was amazing. the way you said everything, breath taking. so many people can relate to what you have written. great great job. i loved reading this!
I have whispered love
softly in shadows
and hushed my heart;
held it to a flutter
these emotions left unspoken
until the sun rose in his eyes
Now all I see is his smile
his love that takes me away
from this gray cloud of despair
this backdrop, void of color
where I had become just a prop.
that was one of my favorite parts!
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thank you, Lexie, for your kind comment
Lynda
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Oh my.....
What a truly moving piece this is, sis!
Stirs the heart for sure!
Wishing you the very best in this contest!
Hugs,
Sandy
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ty, Sandy for your lovely comment, Sis
Lynda
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