Holding hands beneath night skies,
we wish upon the moon;
Then whisper soft "good-byes",
I swear I'll be back soon...
Feel free to comment..and please read my other work..
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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i really like the tender voice in these lines. very nice.
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Beautiful. I can picture the setting as the couple (or a parent and child in theory) offer their good-byes, with a sweet promise of reunion.
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yeah, truth in lies in those moments.
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Beautiful...I love the title and the sentiment. Made me breathe a sigh of pleasure.
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The description of the first three lines so well sets up for the promise that comes in the fourth.. There is something to be missed, longed for, so that the impact of the last line just kind of sneaks up on you. I like that effect.
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This is nice. Because it is quite short in legnth you are left to contemplate the meaning more and I think its quite beautiful. I'm imagining a coulple saying goodbye to one another for a little while. Very sweet.
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Love the Title of this one Mat,and the beautiful way your words breath romance into the piece. Excellent...mal
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Just reread this one... still love it! It's soooo romantic and lovely. -
Oh God, forgive Me for laughing but how many times I have heard a man utter those very words and then be never sighted again except for an ass as it leaves town in a hurry...sorry it was probably intended to be heartfelt, but damn if you were a woman like I am, you'd see a different perspective.
MM
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ha so cute.
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Sweet write. I think it begs for more personally. I like the last part about being back soon, it leaves the peice open, with the reader thinking about the future rather than the now, great write. Good luck in the contest.
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Very nice
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So bittersweet and romantic. I feel that you can never know true love unless your heart has been broken, even just a little bit. I love the sense of longing. Reminds me a bit of Madame Butterfly. Love it.
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Beautifully written, with few words you have said so much...mal
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Sweet humanity
This is why the angels would trade places with us. It is what keeps us going...
Tecohe -
Aww...that is just sweet! Very nice! I love the simplicity, very good job.
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This piece just blew right through my curtains and into my mind.....a softness to it...spoken faintly..
perhaps amongst the rustling of blowing leaves ...under a beautiful sky...with stead fast determination for happiness.
Fine indeed.
Thank you for taking time to read my work....it is the finest gift when one gives of their time.
I enjoyed this and plan to read more.
Peace my brother,
LOWELL POE.
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Great Work
So much emotion in so few lines. I love it. Best wishes in this contest.
mandie
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This reminds me of a moment I've had many nights before, and many to come.
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Beautiful & Dreamy
Love it! Love the lyrical feel, too.
So romantic and heartfelt... Once again you've perfectly captured a scene that touches one's emotions from the very first word. You pulled me in and made me feel...
And believe.
An awesome write, my poet friend. Bravo!
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Aww how tranquil a dream of wishes
Only captured for a moment
Pity you did not enter that one in my contest it would have fitted like a glove
Beautiful
Julie
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short sweet and heart felt. nice one
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i loveit
well done -
As ever, your rhyme is smooth, natural, lyrical. Whilst compact your poem has impact, good usage of poetic device and a moment crystalized. Bravo.
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Absolutely beautiful.
I loved it sincerly
Thank you for sharing this awesome write -
amazing
this is really spectacular. i love it
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So much feeling in so few words. This is wonderful. The sadness and longing leap off the page. Excellent.
Garrison
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It's amazing how much can be said in 20 words!!
This is softly done... shows the sadness of a goodbye, even if you know you will be returning.
Very lovely!!
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wow indeed
this was a powerful read
and in only 20 words
cant believe this one didnt place
thanks for sharing poet
passions
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wow
you gently put these words to a test for the name of love, to say goodbye then later hello as you tenderly relayed, thank you for this entry
Linda
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