Twisted ~
Pieces of me
inside out
feathered this way
in the shape of acceptance
trying to remain unharmed…
I still bleed
the same red as before
Wishing I could cover up
every cut
engraved by someone else’s smile.
All I want
is a voice of my own
and a place I can paint my face
a different shade of you.
Author notes
picture credit Photobucket.com
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt. by Angelflower.
600 points, ended October 3, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I really loved this.. the emotions and imagery was really heartfelt and beautiful in it's own way.. thank you very much for sharing.. best of luck in the contest..
Angel
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very nicely penned . . liked "I still bleed the same red as before" and "engraved by someone else's smile" . . good luck in the contest
-
"in the shape of acceptance" is so genius that I will have to steal the phrase "in the shape of"...
By the way, wonderful font choice--it's stark, plain, and perfect for this.
"I still bleed/the same red as before" doesn't strike me as very original.
I think you could afford to get rid of the 'All' in "All I want", as well as 'and' in "and a place"...making it:
"I want
a voice of my own
a place I can pain my face
a different shade of you"
I think it sounds tighter with less words, but that's just my opinion.
Good luck
Jessica
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This is wonderful, I love the lace of metaphor you have used so nicely. Best to you in the contest
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