I cry out in pain
As the blows land again
Beating me into submission
I look up in tears
With my eyes showing fear
I'm wanting to run and to hide
The last night I'll run
And I reach for my gun
It's loaded and ready to kill
I lay on my bed
The gun to my head
And now is my final goodbye
Author notes
AngelOfLove, Option 4
A contest entry
- September is Suicide Awerness and Pervention Month by FallenFromGrace1102.
2620 points, ended October 3, 2008, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Goodbye Poetry by poppa.
14089 points, ended October 18, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Powerful!! Great Write!! I can feel the pain pouring out of the words as I read..
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I really like this, and the first verse is the best. I like how you have done the rhyming. It is just a really good write!Great work!!!!
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"I cry out in pain
As the blows land again
Beating me into submission"
such powerful lines. i really liked this write it was beautiful keep up the awesome work. i wish you the best of luck in my contest and thank you for entering this piece. it would be nice though if you could put your username in your authers notes or your option number if any.
*~*bee*~* -
This is an interesting use of rhyme here, it is not a style I am familiar with, however; your words show an image of fear and hold forth a broken heart and soul. The time it takes to heal sometimes postpones the final goodbye.
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