When I wake up in the morning,
And everything is bad.
Can't think of a reason,
To get out of bed.
I stare up at my ceiling,
As thoughts run through my head.
Oh John is dead,
Oh John is dead.
Then I hear the baby crying,
And I cry myself.
Jess won't have a daddy,
Oh, John is dead.
I'll never forget that morning,
A man came to my house.
Outside it was pouring,
So I let him in.
I never recalled him,
He said he worked with John.
I called my husband down,
And the stranger took a gun out.
I covered my face shrieking,
John yelled, “Go with Jess”
And I remember thinking,
God be with us.
I don't know if He heard me,
But it was to late,
Gunshots went off,
I thought, oh John is dead.
I ran to my husband,
Held his head in my hands,
He told me, “My darling,
I'll love you always”
The Stranger walked right by me,
And went up the stairs.
He didn't touch the baby,
He didn't even care.
That I was their weeping,
John's blood on my hands.
The baby still sleeping,
The Stranger soon left.
Author notes
I tried to make you think in this poem.
I actually wrote it was a song, but it could go either way.
I do have an ending for it, but I think that it's better without it.
It really makes you wonder,
Who is this stranger?
What did he want?
What did he take?
There's no fun for the reader if every question you have is answered at the end of the poem. It's better to let your own immagination come up with it.
Does it make you think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
This was really good. I did think quite a bit in this poem it was well written and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing this.
-
wow this was amazing. i have nothing else to say really. the repetition was a beneficial element it made everything in this unreal situation seem real. great write.
-
this did have a lyrical way about it - the way you kept repeating "John is dead" - that reminded me of a Sting song in which "I Hung My Head" is repeated. nice touch.
(as a side note i think "their" in the last stanza should be "there") -
I absolutly love this peice. Not an original Gooshawn write. It seems you've gone outside your comfert zone here by not giving it a complete ending, but leaving it for the readers to wonder and guess. A poem that has a clear cut ending dosn't keep you guessing, so you don't think about it afterwards. But this one people will remember after they read it because they want to know.
Absolutly fabuluos write. Great call in not putting the ending.
Seth
-
that is amazing
-
I love it!
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
