don't misinterpret
dependency into love
it's gone...
it's too late to regret
despondency into love
it's done...
I feel trapped when you say need me
but...
I couldnt take
the pressure anymore
I couldn't fake
it's pleasure anymore
we're going to hurt ;
we're going to hate
each other furthermore
if we continue this mistake
it's a shame to blame you with this game
but...
I could never pretend...
these lies...
I could never extend
these cries...
it's wrong to prolong
this compromise
I have reached my end
I should've done this a long time ago...
but...
I felt so confused as I felt so used
I was torn as I was worn out
I need to get out of this hell
You need to get out as well
It's time to stop this crime we've commit
We're both been pushed on our limit.
Anna Lee
12, sept'08
Author notes
Trying to force a relationship out of nothing just to legitimize a poor decision is stupid.
I kept mum about it...cause there is another person involved...my daughter's dad
I owe him some respect...we've been together for eight years.
In a list
it's time for me to let this out
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Wow,
Another personal, and well expressed piece.
I can tell you did not want anyone to get hurt,
but ya can't fake honesty and true love.
Thanks again my new friend for sharing your thoughts.
-Timothy
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"I couldn't fake its pleasure anymore" - wow. Now I understand so much more about you and the haunting sadness beneath the lines of your personal poems. To be "needed" is often comforting - except when you feel trapped! Then it is a curse that stirs your conscience, often a tool that is used manipulatively by the worried partner.
Maybe to some people "dependency" is an integral part of the surrender to love, a sort of trust, an act of faith that allows us to give ourselves to another fully - but it is only painful and differentiated from love when one partner is no longer committed.
I wish you both the best of luck but fear that the "hate" you mention (if you continue) is going to be more intense if you don't - from him.
Tony
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Thank you Tony
for your words and just for being here is enough.
it has built up resentment and anger, and kiss and make up doesn't work for me, anymore.
ah I am speaking...oh gosh... haha
Anna Lee
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Sometimes a relationship can run its full circle and come to a suitable time for it to end. This most often then opens the 'space' necessary to move on into the 'New' and whatever is most right for us.
This is a bold straight write Anna and I can only agree with your sentiments expressed. I believe love is given as something we freely choose to stay with and cannot be fashioned out of anything less than what it is.
I don't understand though... If this is a personal write, then it sounds like a decision has been made, yet there is no indication that any separation has taken place.
A bold suggestion- Bring it too completion.
All the best to you.
Sol
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Thank you for your comment Sir...and for your wise words...I am amazed how you noticed that part...the separation.
I have made my decision, only he isn't. It wasn't mutual anymore...we have become stagnant. I have asked his forgiveness...caused I have to end it. He has become too dependent on me, now he doesn't know how to live on his own...my fault is I never complained although I was fed up and it was so sudden and as it was unexpected. I am talking to him about this slowly...maybe because I don't want to be harsh on him. and one thing, the thing he would do, scares me. it concerns our daughter.
although I know I've got nothing to give. I've been too giving for him.
Thank you once again Sir. I am dealing these baggages alone, I think it's time I speak out.
and I apologized too, I may have hurt your eyes with this long reply.
Anna Lee
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My eyes are fine, really and no need for any apology...
that is other than the one I believe you may end up owing yourself for not finalising this sooner, rather than later.
As they say... 'This life is not a dress rehearsal' You owe it to yourself to follow your heart and staying with a relationship through fear is an oppression against your self.
Fortune favours the brave and leaving someone will of course feel harsh, let it be harsh and sooner over with, which is kinder to all in the long run.
Are you waiting for his permission? Sorry, but if so, that is quite ridiculous, do you not think? Chances are that he knows that you have this 'fear' and you give it to him to exploit against you. Get rid of the 'fear', move away from it and then it can't be used any more in the way it holds you now.
For whatever that might be worth, that's how it looks to me from here.
Be brave for yourself Anna, I'm sure you're worth it.
Leave it, get out of it, move on and let him do likewise.
All the best
Sol
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wow. i liked this write of yours!
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Whoa.....this is so in-depth and saddening!! I can tell that this is from deep within. Great job!! Very brave write!!
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Thank you very much
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First of all this is well written. Each section uses a different poetic device. The first a word problem - multiplication - misinterpret X dependency = gone and regret X despondancy = done. The awkwardness of the second string gives it a strong impact - that is, you are not going to worry about formalities.
The next two verses use alternating rhyme abab effectively. This gives a turbulance to the words, the back and forth of hurt feelings and a mixture of what should have been and could be. The aabb format in the final verse is like the settling of the stormy waves into larger calmer waters - where at least you can stand - for the moment.
This is such a difficult issue, in some ways the most difficult. It deals not only with right and wrong and freedom, but also deep desire. I would like to say that a man's ego is based on commitment while a woman's on feeling. Both share in the responsibility of the body. I know this is cryptic, but this is a poetry forum...
Some are concerned with answers while others with getting the job done. Other's simply remove themselves from the situation and let things work their way out in God's time. As the problem changes, so does the solution.
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Thank you so much Sir Andy...for the wonderful comment. You've been so kind to me eversince.
Anna Lee
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Very heartfelt piece with alot of emotion put into words. Great job.
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Hmm?
This is a great write. It makes me think of the phrase: "You complete me." That is a heavy burden to place on a person. What if they leave... Are you now incomplete? Keep up the good work.
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Sometimes we feel like closing our eyes, lose track of time, lose track of ourselves, yet we do know when it's getting late, too late and that not every wish comes true. But when hurt is over, or not so evident, we do make a new wish, we wait again and keep so doing till we finally get what we think we deserve.
Ah, I'm saying too much here, your poem just clicked some thoughts...
Hugging you...
Mari
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It took me such a long long time to think this over...questioning every decision...its worth and the risks.
It came to a point that...I've been depriving my own happiness...and I finally decided...okay enough said lol...
Thank you Mari...for always being with me
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A very good write. I feel the determination, thr drive behind this poem.
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Thank you, you were the first one to read it...
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