Do you see her?
Staring blankly ahead . . .
You will assume that she's dead,
Maybe she's still alive,
but just dying inside.
Or she's probably asleep,
Maybe taking a nap
for eternity.
Just don't say that she's dead.
Author notes
a long story behind this one.....
???
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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the first stanza,,,,really brought emotions this way,,,
Do you see her?
Staring blankly ahead . . .
You will assume that she's dead,
Maybe she's still alive,
but just dying inside.
this could go sooooo many ways,,, i'm curious about YOUR meaning here,,,I read you authors notes,,, and lol,,, this intrigues me even more,,,, ANYWAY NICELY WRITTEN,,, thans for sharing -
beautiful,
but also open to interpretation.
this is wonderfully cryptic for someone so young.
nice write. -
this is so strong and emotional great job.plz explain da story lolz.
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this reeks of denial. (freud... defense mechanisms...)
well done portraying that, if thats what you were going for.
otherwise, im lost.
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oooo i can sorta relate....
kinda creepy....
but i love it! so.... pondering yet so precise
my fav. part that's kinda chilling is the midle stanza -for eternity- kinda gives it and edge! i really do love ur style!
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Catatonic?
Such a short write... and yet so sad
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wow! the lines
"Or she's probably asleep,
Maybe taking a nap
for eternity.
Just don't say that she's dead. "
Really make you think, like it could be about several different things at once.
Great write!!
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This speaks columes, but at the same time, there is so much more to be said. Sounds of heartache, and torture, but peaceful, Silent pleading. I really enjoyed this.
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I agree with cutie, I really love this, though it would take a while to say why. I just love it
.
Like a beautiful black stone, so polished. It speaks volumes..
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I really liked this. I don't really know why, but I think it was because of the 3rd-5th line:
"You will assume that she's dead,
Maybe she's still alive,
but just dying inside."
It's dark, but it's light at the same time. I don't know how to explain it, but seriously, this probably one of my favourite poems I've read in a long time.
Great write,
Mel
(PS. If there was an option to give you 20 clapping smilies, I would. :] )
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Short but really well written
I'm not sure about the ryhme but I liked it in some ways
"Maybe taking a nap
for eternity.
Just don't say that she's dead"
Loved those lines
Well done
Keep Writing
xLottiex
(Forgotten-Nightmare)
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