how is it possible
that I didn't see this sooner?
I remember in intervals:
divine glass, my eyes,
and the sun that burned them
through my sockets until
they melted into bruises,
viscous and ready
to observe
and honestly
your face has always held
certain things for me:
men would trap their circulation
with telephone wires
when the final gasp rushed through,
their throats then spilling
misguided circuitry
and wombs with umbilical cords
stretching out for their
missing bodies
I’ve never had the gift
of being so wireless,
all my fertility has rested within
the apparent collapse of my spine
and the buildings which soon
afterwards followed suit;
there were cars that
split my tissues open
before shoving them
into gas chambers- and it is a miracle
the way I can completely recall
their beautiful screams,
the fire in their spit,
the way they chimed together
in perfect harmony
it’s impossible
to trace such voices now,
the best I can do
is follow the faint echoes of owls
as they rest their claws
on branches with limbs tearing
into the stream below,
where fishes pretend to drown
in unison with the currents
to reach the point where
everything expires,
lungs fall short, hearts shut down.
my head is heavy, yet
I can only see you with eyes closed
so I will continue
leaning over these cliffs
in hopes of finding a wisp of you
in my sleep
Author notes
recurring dream
A contest entry
- we are also what we've lost by jeremiah abel.
600 points, ended October 1, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
So so beautiful.
<33
I loved all the like..city collapsing bit. I really felt it. Like the crash and burn and sound. The spine collapsing and the buildings falling was a really good image like..I could see the little bones falling, compacting down and shattering & it was just like a skyscraper.
"there were cars that
split my tissues open
before shoving them
into gas chambers- and it is a miracle
the way I can completely recall
their beautiful screams,"
I loooved that part. Just lots of action words I felt. & i thought the 2 bits contrasted well.
"the best I can do
is follow the faint echoes of owls
as they rest their claws
on branches with limbs tearing
into the stream below,
where fishes pretend to drown
in unison with the currents"
I was IN LOVE with this part too. I don't remember reading about owls so it was neat to see that. I loved the image of owl claws, like I could just see the nails and long fingers grasping onto trees. The bright eyes in the barn & everything? & the branches falling into water, just really effective! & the fish part, was just absolutely beautiful. I just love the word unison♥.
The very beginning was also very visual I liked it a lot. Very gross. Eyes like blackened rotten eggs..eww.
I like the 2 words "missing bodies." I thought they were nice together.
"I’ve never had the gift
of being so wireless,"
That was also a phenomenal line, I just really liked how it sounded & felt. <33This was a beautiful write I wish I could see your dream.
Fabbb♥.
-
-
too too kind
-
-
I can only see you with eyes closed
so I will continue
leaning over these cliffs
in hopes of finding a wisp of you
in my sleep
beautiful. i really love the way the title transitions into the first lines of the poem too.
-
what a dream that is.
i loved the ebb and flow of this.
not sure what else to say.. i never say exactly what each poem means to me because that would take forever ha
but this is definatly worth reading
♥
Adding your comment:
