Grin
they said,
demanding
I hide feelings,
and show the false me.
Put on that happy face.
Repress the sadness and hurt,
for no one likes the lonely child;
or so they told me and I believed.
Swallow all that you know about yourself,
and lose your precious identity too.
So I painted my lips big and bright,
for all to see the cheerful me;
my soul sinister with time.
Now grown and on my own,
I fear being lost.
I am consumed,
but the paint
does come
off.
Photo by Melanie Masuth aka Vampirella87 at www.deviantart.com
Picture Link: http://vampirella87.deviantart.com/art/Joker-97671670
Author notes
3) PAINT
In a list
- Contest • next in list
- Abuse • next in list
- HM's • next in list
- Dark • next in list
- Etheree • next in list
- Silver • next in list
A contest entry
- My first contest (pretty simple you should enter *wink*) by kistoclou.
795 points, ended September 20, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No rules just Write by catalyst..
320 points, ended September 22, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS (PW ALLOWED) by Rhythm Child.
400 points, ended February 8, 41 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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great poem
wonderful message :]
i like the picture too
good job
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ooh i loved this
you really got in my good books with tht picture too
i have a poem where i done my own make up if u wanna look 'extremist baptist'
thanks for the entry -
Great message in this, you can always find that inner strength. Love the form. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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"does come
off."
Does not come off?
Thank you for entering this contest, I love this poem as it shows the emotions troubling the person and it evaporates around the reader and the reader feels like they are going through it.
Keep on writing,
Jeff. -
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Nope. It DOES come off if you want it to.
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Ah, I got you. It's a choice.
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I fear being lost.
I am consumed,
but the paint
does come
off.
I liked the ending. I love the truth in this poem. How everyone really does where a mask till eventually they cannot remove it -
that was kinda creepy and the picture sorta creepy......
love the title tho -
reread
(just wanted to let you know smile has two syllables) so ya -
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I found a dictionary that showed it two ways. I changed it to "Grin" to take away any doubts. ;-)
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Creepy
You should totally submit that into like some movie thing. It reminds me of the Joker and how he got his smile. "Why so serious" lol. ne ways very good yet again. Nothing I would change except maybe a bit more descriptive. Better words I mean like instead of big and bright try big and crimson things like that etc. even better than crimson if you can just something. Very good still. You wowed me (in a sadistic crazy way, which is good lol)
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Thanks a lot :-) In an etheree, you have to watch your syllables - only allowed so many per line, which is why I carefully chose the ones I did. Crimson would be a great word, but it's two syllables :-( I'll have to think about this. Thanks for your input. Glad you enjoyed it!
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Terrific, totally engrossed me. And the picture scared the hell out of me lol. The poem is penned with incredible visual sadness and veiled in darkness, great great write !!
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This reminds me of the poem; "We Wear The Mask" by Paul Laurence Dunbar. Sometimes we have to let go of the face paint and cry, scream, if only silently. Excellent work here poet. The etheree is not an easy form. You flowed effortlessly with it. Great!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your support and comments!
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Ahh i see you know my friend Renee.. We did a collaboration once a long time ago. you know. IN PMs!!. It was about ... aww heck here we go again...lol
http://allpoetry.com/poem/348106 (By Chance)
BTW you wear the mask of confidence and peace quite well.. If not for your poetry I would not have known differently.
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