Look into my eyes and there appears a story
That illuminates the world,
Smearing my sight with puddles of salty streets.
Sharp icy coldness bristles the light air to heaviness,
Blossomed silvery wiggles all the way,
Olden, yellowy frocks are the trend there.
And among the wooly whiteness stands a scene,
A slippery solid surface protruding
Into clashing rocky stones,
Into pudgy streams of muddy memories.
And in the hollowness of it all,
A trepid life limps solely.
Like a little black bird,
I scamper through the violent lightning vibrations,
Little knowing that the walls are caving in,
That bitterness will soon begin its famished feast,
And that nearby lays a sign devolving ‘Dead End’…
Author notes
Vanishing - - Soul
Amaranthine Lover
A contest entry
- Contest for free verse poems... PW of Sept'08 allowed by Manoj Sanyal.
370 points, ended September 15, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything You Want :) Enter Please :) by fairytalelovestory.
550 points, ended September 29, 2008, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bored... I Want SAD by upperworld06.
360 points, ended October 1, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everyone's a Critic by dewfall.
800 points, ended October 18, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From September 2008 by amaranthine lover.
2100 points, ended February 6, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell out your soul... by Hannie.
600 points, ended October 29, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 147 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one; enter your best. by broken-colours.
600 points, ended December 12, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me anything! by ASmileForYou.
560 points, ended December 16, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Win $50, and be published in the next Allpoetry Book! by Kevin.
400 points, ended January 15, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - big bang prewrites only contest by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 5, 124 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - all the prewrites you want (theres a catch) by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended January 7, 299 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Honorable Mentions and Bronze Award Poems Contest! ^^ by MJ Forgives.
900 points, ended September 11, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? Do you like it?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow your poem caught my attention. It is different. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering.
-Jess
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This was good I think it would've been good as a rhyme poem also but thats how you wrote it anyway thanks for entering
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A very nice write!
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You have done a great job with the imagery in this poem, and I really like the alliteration I found here and there.
Thank you for entering the contest!
Leander -
a well written piece
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very well written poem!!! thanks heaps for entering and good luck!!
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hmm
for its genre, which aint my favourite, this poem has its appeal... i like very much the line "...a trepid life..." -
This is great. Nice flow and nice use of words.
I scamper through the violent lightning vibrations,
Little knowing that the walls are caving in,
That bitterness will soon begin its famished feast,
And that nearby lays a sign devolving ‘Dead End’…
i love this. great job and good luc -
Wonderful imagery & great story
Well done!
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This is a beautiful write ~ congrats on your HM
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‘Dead End' ....well penned philosophically...
Best wishes and good luck,
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oOo this was wonderful. i could completely image looking into a set of eyes and seeing all of what was described reflected back. fantastic imagery too! wow, this was just brilliantly written!
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