Dreams, reality and fantasy
Unable to differentiate the world
from the core of existance
Salt watered eyes soak
Falling into poetic blindness
My heart plays a tune I cannot verbalize
the mouth runs dry at the thought of singing
Heaven's golden gate remains closed
angels flutter about
laying in a field of lillies
I watch them fly above me
sprinkling the golden dust
the dust misses us.
Silver carpets are thrown about
by the angels
those chosen walk the carpets into their worlds.
My world remains poetic
not knowing what reality is
pulling at the core trying to move on
staring at the silver carpets
and golden dust
Trying to walk on them
and feel the dust
but as I do an invisible wall
knocks me out.
I go back to the lillies
and ink stained clothes
curl up in my poetic blindness
craving
but I cannot seem to get past
that wall I cannot see
because I don't know what truth is
and reality lost me somewhere
... on the other side of the wall
where you are.
Author notes
"it's better to have loved and lost the to never have loved at all"
(contest)
lillies is spring
5. Just when you thought you had it all,
it all falls apart.
~Jess
A contest entry
- 3 choices by KittyAnne.
500 points, ended September 23, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seasons... [prewrites permitted] =] by sora..
600 points, ended September 20, 2008, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest for free verse poems... PW of Sept'08 allowed by Manoj Sanyal.
370 points, ended September 15, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Have you got an angel (by Abe 1 ) by Abe 1.
500 points, ended September 28, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Such a Painful Love by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended September 27, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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so liked did poem
says loads
thanx 4 yr entry and gd luck
abe
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Beautifully sad!
A very meaningful poem.. it left me touched!
Best of luck to you my dear
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Feelings and invisible wall... well penned.
Best wishes and good luck,
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An excellent sentiment, and a great metephoric look at it. Not always is losing a love sad per say. But it is better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all.
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I am somewhere between the two..
a beautifully crafted poem
Many I feel reading this poem can relate to the blindness of words that fail to appear.
Artists of lyrics and the lead voice dries up.
Best wishes on this fine poem
Julie
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A beautifully penned, poignant poem....so lonesome. It touched me.
Slayer
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Sad..
This is a good poem that sadly describes
the agony of loving without being loved
back the same way. We take such a chance
when we dive into affairs of the heart
without first taking time out to know a
person. Our animal instincts deludes us
all the time. We need to strike the proper
balance when choosing a mate.
More brain and less emotions. -
Excellent
A very fine poignant write. You've expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
I'll tell you this- i have not written or red poetry in a very long time and it is nice to come back to this site and read such a beautiful poem. i like the words you used to describe everything. At one point in my life i could relate to this poem and it's always nice to be able to relate to something you are reading. However, i'm not exactly sure that the title has much to do with the poem itself. Is there something i am missing?? other than that, i love the poem and good luck in the contest!!!
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Beautiful imagery and flow. At times it felt a little bare, little tiny bumps in your flow, but overall, not too bad.
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My world remains poetic
not knowing what reality is
pulling at the core trying to move on
staring at the silver carpets
and golden dust
wonderful!
This is wonderful, I loved everything about it. The meaning is clear, and yes, we get it.
The imagery is spectacular, and carried the piece all the way through.
Best wishes in your contests,
jin
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My world remains poetic
not knowing what reality is
I love those lines! This is a really fantastic write, which I really enjoyed reading! Thanks so much for sharing it, and good luck in all the contests! -
wow great write, you mentality deep and profound. Your write are great as always. You are thinking deeper and deeper. I loved. You will have to give me some tips. Sometime we have a wall in front us.and we are in intense darkness. we have to feel alond side the until we find the door and then all things will be open to us. great write and deep.
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very surreal, reminds me of all the times i have dificulty knowing where I am! Good write!
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Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. You expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again well done.
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Such beautiful writing here. Very graceful and delicate. It seems you really know how to handle such "liquid dreams". Every stanza is filled with unique thoughts.
Wasn't Liquid Dreams a song by Ohtown?
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Who is OHtown? Is it? see if you can find the song for me
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"Dreams, reality and fantasy"
They meld, and when that happens all becomes clear.
I have been in this place. I think it's because so much happens in my head at once. As we become more seasoned from life, we tend to either aquire some understanding or ask; what difference is there?
More will be revealed. When it happens, know it. We dream dreams, have visions, and imagine... It's simply the middle between life and death.
Exceptional work! A mind-bender, thought-inducing work of poetry.
Much Love ♥
Reneé
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A very surreal write..
It is well expressed as far as i'm concerned and also one of your very best writes. good job poetess!
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A lot to think about, and think hard about
take things slower nothing good is rushed, Savor life
and all that is around one...mac
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