To the hilltop
led by the sound of sunlight drawing pictures
urged by time
erasing and re-shaping again and again
at every curve
old things emerge and re-emerge
perhaps, like the hatred
which I left some time back
nature brimming with a furtive smile
and
winking with singing colors
Me, an intruder
inhaling wrinkled happiness
the hills and valleys seek
the harmony of mist
to hide solidified sobs and sighs
the topless trees telling stories to the rain
of moments of seduction and gloom present
the darkened pond escapes to the corner
heavy with a destitute’s biography
veiled sorrow stumbling on
the remnants of concocted complexities
babbling brooks trying to evade
shamelessly woven dreams of the meadows
the cascade rhyming love-laden hours
with glory,grandeur and grace
I stand here,naked
with a haunting melody inside….
Author notes
No.7.a walk in the woods
AP name nilav
A contest entry
- Options for your muse. by Karl Weiss - Topaz.
900 points, ended September 26, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seven Years on Allpoetry by catz.
900 points, ended October 23, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ Cherished Prewrites ~ by Pickle Baby.
1000 points, ended November 15, 2008, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 445 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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wow
a delicious write. those last lines are perfection penned! that first stanza as well is gorgeous! okay, the whole thing is immaculate! i love the words, 'inhaling wrinkled happiness'. it's delightful to see the plight and pain and pleasure of man wrapped up in nature here!!
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beautiful imagery. i love walkingin the woods, the solitude where i can listen to nature speak, where advice is always welcomed.
congratulations on all the trophies, too
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THE IMAGERY WAS LOVELY...ENCHANTING AND BEAUTIFUL...PAINTS A REAL PICTURE IN THE READERS MINDS...
TAKE CARE -
Wow, wow, wow! I simply loved this!!
Superb imagery, I had to read over and over. Congratulations, a well deserved GOLD winner!
Dan. -
Excellent imagery, an awesome write, I loved it. Congrats on the well deserved trophies.
Well done. -
Love this. Fabulous use of imagery to create mood. This is dream-like and beautiful.
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Wow, this is utterly amazing! I must admit I usually prefer rhyming poems, but this truly blew me away! You write with such feeling and expression and such a sense of light and life! Every word moved me, every word contained a special beauty. The use of alliteration was wonderful! I especially loved the ending well done on a fantastic write! thanks so much for entering the contest
peace xx -
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thank you for such a wonderful comment and appreciation...
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WOW!!! Powerfully thought-provoking!!!
Congratulations on the golden chalice!!! 
This is a wonderful masterpiece!!! And I agree with what Mina Nagi had to say in the comment, below. This stunning poem blew me away in majestic tones of surreal awesomeness. Thank you for sharing your muse's talents with all of us!!! 
Peace always, Cyn 
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This is packed with metaphors and alliterations...
the remnants of concocted complexities
babbling brooks trying to evade
shamelessly woven dreams of the meadows
the cascade rhyming love-laden hours
with glory,grandeur and grace
I stand here,naked
with a haunting melody inside….
simply beautiful...
mina
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The vivid imagery of this wonderful poem brings it to life. Your last lines are very visual, the feeling of being naked in comparison to the beauty and intrigue of your 'walk in the woods '
Thank you for entering this beauty
Dee
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I love the way you paint nature in such a positive, almost suurreal tone throughout the poem then end with such a concise, eerie conclusion. It reminds me of that scene in Good Morning, Vietnam when they show clips of war set to "What a Wonderful World." Most excellent. Feel like coming up with any more amazing nature-y writes for me??
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Let me share the excitement of the last stanza!!!
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I love the personification in this. Great write. It's got that affect to it were I could close my eyes and see it in my mind. Beautiful!
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Nature forces us to reevaluate due to the simplicity
of it. It shows us by example that problems can be
overcome and persistence brings rewards. From the small
acorn twisting into the towering tree, to the winding brook, going around or over what it can't go through. It knows that which it can not change and so doesn't try but arrives at an adequate solution nontheless , and mankind could learn much from that...
Hugs...Eddy
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You have the voice of a true poet. This is lovely with unfolding metaphors and creative images, all bound with alliterative glue!
Thank you for your kind visit, and I'm so pleased you managed to get a smile or two out of what you read.
Teachers rule! (Retired or not).
Lou x
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Very well done, thank you for your fine entry in this contest.
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