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hell is full of [S] words

suffocate
as you fall
          .
            .
              .

syntax slowly dying
as if  structure  still existed...


elevator music filled with
"glad tidings we bring to you and your kin"

I'm sure they are all but rotting...

sizzling flesh
as the automatic door opens

you wipe the sweat off your brow

full of stores
and that-all-too-familiar stench

your body slowly decomposing

new life begins in your once vibrant chest
this once thriving metrapolis
your brain just melted

ants crawl out of your eyes...




Did you happen to catch the sale?!

shoes are half off






you need them to step on the flame incrusted floor   

Author notes

so i would not watch that video
i was still too scared



hell for me
and how bad death can get for me
would be
hell being a mall
and wearing high heels walking around it
it being christmas time
and chiors singing "we wish you a merry christmas"
and then there would be ants
im alergic to them


and of course i tried to capture the part where you just are lyin gin the ground decaying...


anyways
tell me if you like

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • ArchangelNovember
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa, Its like you combined two different worlds that realy aren't that different to form something new and yet equally frightning. Interesting


  • AboveApathy
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Extremely imaginative- I love how unique the style/form is. kudos!! The language is great, too


  • Hell In Harmony
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hm. I think you've written better.
    I don't know.
    the good ideas were there
    I'm just not sure
    about how it was pulled together


  • stylization
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love it. It's horribly scary but it's absolutly amazing. You have amazing imagery here. Fantastic write; best of luck in the contests.


  • just weak hands
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    OMFG !!

    i love this poem wayyy too much for words ! i love your style here ! very interesting :]

    great write


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was a clever write....hell's shopping mall...
    in heels no less! wonderfully written scratching
    our souls!
    well done!
    ears/Seattle


  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was very twisted and just took me through my own nightmare of Christmas shopping. Well done. Thanks for entering my contest! I'm honored to have your work shown here. Good luck to you!

  • She Stole My Voice
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What video?

    Anyway,
    honestly, you better win this contest or I'm opening a can of whoopass.
    ♥


    -Rainbow.

1 - 17 of 17