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dear america

thanks a lot

 

Dear United States of Whoever We Are,

 

Thanks for nothing and getting me nowhere so far.

I thought I could live the American Dream,

but waking up to reality, I began to see,

the Dream was nothing more than a mirage for us to believe.

 

I once put my faith in the red, white, and blue.

But as soon as I could use my brain,

I started to question the what's, where's, why's, and who's.

And we'll pray to God when troubles come,

but when everything's good, to Him we won't run.

 

I thought I was beautiful. This I was led to believe.

But than you came and told me I wasn't the beauty, but the beast.

Born and bred in the red, white, and blue,

now you're telling me that I'm not good enough for you.

 

Which is fine, I don't care quite frankly.

 

You left me hopeless though, for many years.

False dreams and aspirations, brought to a point of almost tears.

Hey you, o' stars and stripes,

thanks for nothing, except for all this strife.

I have you to blame

for thinking I was nothing of worth and born in vain.

 

Thanks for nothing America.

 

 

Author notes

If you comment on this, do not be hateful. I am not anti-American. That would be stupid because I am an American. I would be anti-myself and I wouldn't be that because I am quite awesome. "Dear America" gives you the chance to think and make your brain work. I may be right, I may be wrong. Either way - I’ve made you think.

The reason I wrote this, or what inspired me, was how we think "The American Dream" is so real and worth achieving, but in truth, it's a big crock and causes a lot of heartache and pain.

Pic Credit: http://shesbiketuff.deviantart.com/art/thanks-a-lot-14902120

AP Name: Lowercase Prelude
I am in princess of my love's AP family

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 68 of 68

  • tarcus
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    The main trouble with every democratic country is that the normal people end up like sheep.
    It is not until they have the wool removed from their eyes however that they realise it is too late.
    Its others around the world that are removinhg the wool at the moment but as yet there are far too many eyse still covered for you to make a difference.


  • Simp
    April 4

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    Thanks for entering my contest.
    That pic reminds me of Post secret, if you know what I'm talking about. I see where you got it from though. I like the picture. Nice emotion.


  • Cyanide Dreams
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    This was great. Such strong emotion. It may be repetive but, it's repetitive in a way to keep the reader wanting more, to keep the reader interested. You did a fine job with this. Your imagery was strong and your word choice was great. What a lovely poem. Good luck and thanks for entering the contest.

    Josh


  • Kathraina silver member
    March 27

    Edit | Reply

    FANTASTIC

    In my own beliefs, I 100% agree with this piece. But anywho...
    Marvelous write! I love the emotion and imagery in this. The picture goes well too!
    Bravo!!!


    ♥ Kate

  • The Rainbows Mind
    December 18, 2008

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    Indeed. Many would be quick to jump to conclusions about this, but I see where you are coming from. America as the embodiment of "what's right, wheat's wrong, what you SHOULD believe, what's beautiful, what's ugly" is pathetic. It is painted as land of the free and home of the brave. Although we mostly have the rights to believe what we want, there are so many that are so eager to take them away and control us. To corporate America I do say, thanks for socially constructed lies. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • dustytiger
    December 3, 2008

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    you certainly have gotten me thinking, and i hope a lot of people thinking about their country (even their own if they're not american,since i'm canadian) this is a really great piece of poetry, seriously well thought out, deep and subtle, it's not in your face at all, it just gets your thoughts going, great poem, best of luck in the contest


  • Oleander
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, America, such a tragic tale.


  • lunarlunacy
    December 1, 2008

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    I concur. Although from I have read of your other writes you have the poetic prowess to state the above in a more profound way, the thoughts, grievances, and overall dissidence I dare say is dead on. I have served this country, despite my disgust for it's governing body and the unravelling our cultural morees. I have been government property for those who would merely use me as an expendable cog in their ghastly and conscious free war machine. This once great country was founded by aggitators, disidents and outcasts seeking to make a unique place for those leary of manipulative governers, now it's unpatriotic to voice a patriots grievance. We are taxed when we make it, we are taxed when we save it, we are taxed when we withdraw it, we are taxed when we spend it, we are even taxed when we throw it away, and yet taxed literally to death. So i say fk their taxes, their "tea", and all the hypocrits in congress that be.

  • davidwright silver member
    November 30, 2008

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    Remember the words of John F. Kennedy "it's not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." Good luck in the contest and happy trails.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 18, 2008

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    When I read this, what I am getting is someone wanting to blame the country, but not saying WHY the country is to blame. Everyone feels disillusion sometimes, life is hard, but you can't blame your country if you don't make the choices to get your life on the right track. Also, the line about running to God in times of sorrow really doesn't have anything to do with the country either. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


    • lowercase prelude gold member
      October 18, 2008
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      America is a land of people.

      Thus, the actions of the American people have a lot to do with how the country is defined.

  • jadeangyal
    October 14, 2008

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    This is not a personal attack; just responding to your poem. It sounds like the words of someone who expected everything to be given to them or done for them, or perhaps someone who expected something that they did not deserve. This is the land of opportunity, not the land of charity. And when opportunity knocks, you have to do something, too. I appreciated reading this poem because it did make me think.

    • lowercase prelude gold member
      October 18, 2008
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      No, this isn't a land of charity. You are right.
      And no, the viewpoint isn't from someone with an attitude of wanting everything done for them.

      Even if one takes the step to make an opportunity for themselves, there are still many flaws in the American way of living that don't make it as easy as one might think.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    October 8, 2008

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    Yes it did make me think

    I love this country with all my heart .I dont like who is running it for they have run it to bankrupsy and while everyone else is trying to figure out how to fix it those who caused it are without worries they are enjoying themselves as usual .I say to get our country back on track and stop the stealing I say discontinue the income tax and tax every thing across the board that way everyone will pay their fair share no one could fraud the government that way and let the people handle their own money. Yes it sure got me to thinking


  • Nicada silver member
    October 8, 2008

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    You are right in saying that this poem makes you think about many things. I think many people feel this way right now. You have made some very good and strong points, and I hope after the november election we can start to feel more positive again. Great job, and thanks so much for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty


  • Age of Rain
    September 25, 2008
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    came across as spoken. Interesting and unique write. I think you did well here.


  • SpiritMother
    September 23, 2008

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    What an original concept! In our own perceptions of what perfection should be, do we also bring doubt! Wonderfully expressed in this write. Loved reading it!


  • PerfectImperfection
    September 22, 2008

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    I see no hate here, only much of the truth on how many of us feel at times. This world in which we live in is ever changing, but not so much for the best. There is so much hate, anger, suffering, strife - and yet we claim to be ~free~...

    "And we'll pray to God when troubles come,
    but when everything's good, to Him we won't run."

    Those lines really spoke out, because in this age of Atheism, Agnosticism, and Anarchy - few are able to even see what there is to believe in, so they simply don't. I am not bad-mouthing any beliefs here myself, simply stating that there are so many of us who are lost. Having faith is believing in what you cannot see...

    "You left me hopeless though, for many years.
    False dreams and aspirations, brought to a point of almost tears.
    Hey you, o' stars and stripes,
    thanks for nothing, except for all this strife.
    I have you to blame
    for thinking I was nothing of worth and born in vain.

    Thanks for nothing America."

    That ending was amazing. So much angst, and very well composed. I say excellent write. There will be many who will have their 'peace' to say - however, maybe they too have neglected to think we are all entitled to our own opinions. We live in a very uncaring world, and ANYONE who tries to say this is unAmerican; well maybe they haven't had to take a walk in your shoes, have they? (Sorry read some comments lol.)

    ... Apologize for the ramble! Write on poet!


  • catalyst.
    September 21, 2008

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    But than you came and told me I wasn't the beauty, but the beast.

    Born and bred in the red, white, and blue,

    now you're telling me that I'm not good enough for you.
    I can definately see where this is coming from and I loved what you put it your an. I love poems that make me think and this was one of them, with an expert rhyme sceme it was one of those poems you hardly notice rhymes because its so natural, not forced at all.



  • Shakes-spear
    September 18, 2008

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    Why?

    Do you believe that it is America's fault that some of your dreams have not come true? Do you think this country is responsible for saying you are not beautiful? We all have times of self pitty, but to blame a free country for what you have not gotten.

    I do not like many things this country does. I don't like wars and death, but America is not responsible, Americans are! We vote(or don't vote) for who is running things, so if you don't like it, rally behind someone that will do it better. Get your friends,family and neighbors to vote ! We really need to take our country back for the people and to do that the MAJORITY need to select who goverens us! I hope that all your dreams come true in the future! Good luck, The Shaker

    • lowercase prelude gold member
      September 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      But the country IS the people. America is a nation of people, not just laws and such. I don't necessarily feel this way, but it is supposed to get you to think.

      And yes, I think as a whole, American society is to blame for a lot of things.


  • -Char-
    September 17, 2008
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    wow thats great!


  • Re-invention silver member
    September 17, 2008

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    well indeed you have made me think... im not pure american but I am derived from it... I dont consider this anti-american but rather a personal rant or even a personal rant full of ideas and thoughts..
    its is a great and rich write because it is not a normal poem and it expresses itself widely and directly...
    nicely done!

    • lowercase prelude gold member
      September 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well no one is "pure American". being 100% American isn't possible
      we all came from somewhere, whether that be Europe, Mexico, the Middle East, etc.


  • upperworld06
    September 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awesome, i like the part about beauty and beast, its sad that that's actually true. good job


  • sugiebuns
    September 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    AWESOME

    Very cool! I feel the same way and it's sad to say it. Maybe November will bring about a change.


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Many mirages come one after the other, from the mouths of liars...I am very awestruck of this piece,it shows great disappointment in this country and I couldn't agree with you more... thanx for pouring your anger out, poet


  • gullionmar
    September 15, 2008

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    wow

    how can one believe this , you were born in america ,well my friend the truth is we werent all born with gold spoons in our hands ,we've got to work for what we want thats all thats to it and sometimes it feels like we get nowhere fast and yes this makes one think about alot of things ,at least we were born in a country where we are free to speak and fell whatever we want have a great day ok

    • lowercase prelude gold member
      September 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      well, if you must know, i wasn't born with a gold spoon in my mouth either. my father used to be a postal worker and my mom is a teacher - that's the definition of American right there

      My family is part of the working class and we did just that - work.


  • Asylaarix
    September 13, 2008

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    This was absolutely AMAZING!
    I love the truth behind your words
    The imagery and emotion you put into this
    I loved the harshness in your words
    AMAZING

    TT


  • stylization
    September 13, 2008

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    Woah. This is so fantastic. It's got beautiful imagery here, and the traps you portrayed are realistic ones; that's how we live. Best of luck in the contests.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    September 13, 2008

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    For me this expresses the dissatisfaction of many americans. I say, come to Australia, the land of the free This is a very well constructed piece which gives every reader lots to ponder. Best to you in all your contests


  • motel silver member
    September 13, 2008

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    the pitfalls of living in a materialistic, consumer-driven society ...one always feels that it's never enough and the sense of inadequacy and fear is pervasive ... actually it is cultivated by the "powerful".
    thanks for sharing.


  • Mistress Masquerade
    September 13, 2008

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    This has so many great ideas and points in it and I have to agree with Symphony about how people lose who they are due to their heritage. Great write and best of luck!


  • Symphony
    September 13, 2008

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    To be honest, I quite agree with this; I've always thought along those lines; that when people put too much into their heritage and 'who they are because of it', they lose themselves - and, often those quite a few they love along the way because of it [through war, etc]

    Powerful poem. No more needs to be said.


  • Manoj Sanyal
    September 13, 2008

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    I am not an American but It is good emotional poem and powerfully expressed in simple language.
    Best wishes and good luck,

  • lyrebird
    September 13, 2008

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    I really liked this poem, it has a lot of truth in it.

    Loved the lines:
    "And we'll pray to God when troubles come,
    but when everything's good, to Him we won't run."

    I thought I was the only one who did that

    Powerfully penned, best of luck in the contest.

    -- Jojo x sinnocence


  • wordsmith gold member
    September 13, 2008

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    First, you have a telling self-image above your poem that hints at greater depth to come than initially suggested. I believe that this introduction to your poem stimulates a willing reader to reflect internally on the words and concepts that you have created as a catalyst. This effective approach initiated with a possible author belief system propels the reader to evaluate the strength of his or her own beliefs. This is an effective approach in a not so surface poem.


    • lowercase prelude gold member
      September 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      So, is that good or bad?

      Should I have done this better? Or did you think I did a good job?


      • wordsmith gold member
        September 13, 2008
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        You have exceeded expectations and this is definitely very good! Aside from that, I love your poem.


        • lowercase prelude gold member
          September 13, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Well I thought that's what you were saying, but I thought I'd clarify.

          Thank you for your comments.


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    September 13, 2008

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    Don't know what to think though everyone probably has these thoughts now and again. Nice one thanks for sharing


  • LovingAngelForever
    September 13, 2008

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    Powerful

    That's seriously deep. It's true, a picture is painted for us, but it covers up the flaws that we don't discover until they're able to come up in our own lives. That's a really awesome poem--great writing.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 13, 2008

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    Strong and powerful words! I don't think our nationality can "save" us.. for wherever we are in the world there are problems. I do think governments need to stop propogating the false dreams and dealing with the realities!

    Very thought provoking write!


  • Mrs. C.
    September 12, 2008
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    thank you for entring
    it really makes you think about life in america today.


  • Kiss the girl--x
    September 12, 2008

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    your authors notes just made me smile a lot

    and i bet this is relatable for so many people.

    'I once put my faith in the red, white, and blue.
    But as soon as I could use my brain,
    I started to question the what's, where's, why's, and who's.'

    I really really liked those lines
    ♥


  • Never Fall in Love
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I know a lot of people who are anti-themself. myself included.

    As for your poem, I really don't know what I should say.


  • XBeautiful MistakeX
    September 12, 2008

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    This really touched me. I mean honestly, Im so glad you linked it too me. So many people feel this way sometimes. Including me. This was just..amazing.

    -huggles-
    your fluffy dinosaur


  • Simply Simple
    September 12, 2008

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    This really left me speechless. It was so amazing. I can understand where the feelings of bitterness came from in the writing of this. Whether or not it's how you feel doesn't matter, I can tell there was true emotion in these lines. I was utterly blown away. I mean wow... There is nothing left to say.


  • XxemohatexX
    September 12, 2008

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    i love the poem and everything in it is so true you are realy talinted and i read your work adn think im reading a pros work your great wow i relay jsut im spechless its great keep up the good work


  • luna-midnight gold member
    September 12, 2008

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    awwww...this is powerful....a little shocking...but good. good luck and take care. keep writing
    Stephanie ♥


  • Wolf Mancini
    September 12, 2008

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    Deeply sincere...

    You prabably don't know me, but I got your back my friend.
    Do not ever feel lost or left behind....you have too many friends to feel with you.


    wolf


  • peridotPixi
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well first off i would like to remind you that you are quite awesome. I like the feelings you have used in this poem and i'm sure there are many people who feel this way, this poem has a nice flow and does expresses feelings someone in that situation may have,
    as always keep up the wonderful writing
    ~your momma Amy


  • Angelflower
    September 12, 2008

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    A very powerful poem cousin!! something that many wouldn't be brave enough to write about.. I'm glad you have the guts thanks much for sharing! I enjoyed it!

    Angel


  • ScottishPrincess silver member
    September 12, 2008

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    Such a very powerful write indeed
    I think anyone has somepoint in their life
    felt like this but they are not anti-American ,they
    are just frustrated with the running of the country,Hazel


  • lostangel07
    September 12, 2008
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    A good political and emotional write. I think we all sometimes lose faith in what we would rather have faith in.

  • lostangel07
    September 12, 2008

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    A good political and emotional write. I think we all sometimes lose faith in what we would rather have faith in.


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah it is good to be reading the mind of Chris again

    How I missed your opinions, your mind

    This write is awesome Cuz...for many reasons, but the most important is, your using your voice and sharing in every and any way you know how

    I don't take this as you being anti American
    I take it more as a even if we love being American or Australian etc, it doesn't mean we get frustrated with our country, the people running it etc

    Great words and I hope it gets a shiny one attached to it

    Cind


  • nichtmich silver member
    September 11, 2008

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    A scathing look at American society. I know I've felt this way at times. Good poem. This country needs rebels too, helps keep the balance.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    September 11, 2008

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    A very strong and concerned voice resonates from page to screen, the picture is effective to the point of being stunning. Your heartfelt write echoes, more and more Americans are expressing the same levels of need to stand up and say that they feel the dream has slipped away. Red thoughts re being blue on the white page. Old Glory, it seems to me, in summary, that everyone needs to find hope to fly the flag and feel the glory in technicolour. The world waits anxiously to see who will be the next President too.


  • xxwhatsherfacexx
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love how down to the bone this gets.
    i think it speaks to every american, because at one point we all have these thoughts running through our heads...

    "but waking up to reality, I began to see,

    the Dream was nothing more than a mirage for us to believe."

    these lines speak more truth to me than i've read in a long time, and i like them best mainly because they don't have to pertain only to this poem,but just general life.

    great poem! . and good luck in the contest. .


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 11, 2008

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    Amazing

    this is an outstanding poem that you've written. You're not anti American anymore than I am. you just see the way it is and there is nothing wrong with seeing in that manner. much better I do believe.

    you've a excellent job with this poem...

    good luck in the contest

    kat


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    September 11, 2008

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    You amaze me AP brother. No, you are not Anti-American, you are seeing the perspective that the rest of the world sees of America. Americans are always so full of themselves and think they are superior and you have realized that we are not teh shit anymore. It took me going abroad to realize this. I like your attitude in this, it's very beautiful and find no fault in it. Keep going at it!


  • Number 13
    September 11, 2008

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    I love the picture as well as your poem :]
    you penned this so beautifully ♥ The feelings are so vivid and raw <3


  • movedon
    September 11, 2008

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    lol You are quite awesome my dear brother. And you penned an amazing poem! I think a lot of people feel this way, but are too afraid to speak up. Lovely job. I loved it!

    Warmest of love,
    Mylee


  • penman gold member
    September 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    A very probing expression of you feelings on American. The dream lost shared in deepest creation.

1 - 68 of 68