If the moon had rays, would they instead radiate frost?
Because every time I turn my head, all I see is debris.
The world I once knew falls all around me in shambles,
the bright colors I once knew bleeding into a puddle at my feet.
There is a small flickering light always dangling above my head,
but the weight and validity of my life shadow the golden pools
the lying, cursing low-watt bulbs in my head weakly cast.
Desperately, the passions of my heart shine through my clothes,
but only strong enough for me to see them.
I want you to feel their magnetism, so you can understand.
Because every time I want to hug your heart,
I instead suffocate it.
Believe in me as you believe in what your heart wrongfully tells you.
The last thing I wish to do is desert you.
The last thing I wish to do is hurt you.
Find me, reach out to me, and be everything I need.
Becuase if I reached to you, you would turn to dust.
Author notes
One of 2 entries in the contests "make me feel"
A contest entry
- Prewrites. by She Stole My Voice.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MAKE ME FEEL by Cena-of-Destiny.
2750 points, ended October 17, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - True Emotion by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended November 15, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I am not really sure what this is about exactly. I am taking it as you didn't love this person and you are challengeing them to make you love them??
The Positives:
Great Imagery! I love the metaphores you used.
The Negatives:
Kinda hard to follow... I think you tried to put to much into this personally.
My Favorite part:
The world I once knew falls all around me in shambles,
the bright colors I once knew bleeding into a puddle at my feet.
There is a small flickering light always dangling above my head,
but the weight and validity of my life shadow the golden pools
the lying, cursing low-watt bulbs in my head weakly cast.
This part in particlar was very cool. Thanks for entering. -
Really great but there seemed to be too many messages in the poem. Good luck in my contest!
<3
-Cena
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This is a well written piece.
Thank you for entering and good luck ♥
-rainbow.
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