Truth

(meant to be read aloud)

The truth is,
I can't see you being with him.
Him, him, or her, or anybody else.

The truth is,
I just don't WANT to see you with him, or him, or her, or anybody else.

Because the truth IS, I think it's completely preposterous, unnecessary
and illogical that you,
of all people,
should be seeing him, him, or her, or somebody,
anybody,
anything,
else
but me.
Me.
Remember me?
The smiling girl who you equate with happiness,
trying to detach herself from FEELING as her own heart cracks back into the glacier
that you had melted
Because just the thought of seeing you with him, him, or her means only that YOU are not seeing ME.
Me.
The girl who keeps trying to appropriate her love-
Yes, love.
Is it love?-for you.
To tell you the truth, i honestly do not know
what sweet love is.
If love is the bone crushing, heart wrenching, gut tearing feeling i get when i imagine you with him, him, him or her or anybody else-well then i guess THAT emotion is one  i know well...
Though perhaps, if i could know YOU,
breath you in with your lilac and morning dew, non-name brand perfume, reminding me of spring in fall, then just maybe I could know it.
Holding your frail body into mine,
hands around your waist, intertwined, pulling you into my chest and kissing you gently with the aftertaste of deep longing, yes then i most CERTAINLY would know.
But you, on the other hand, cannot.
You cannot know of my love, lust, LESBIAN longing,
raging emotions (or hormones?) or any of the other aforementioned cliches.
You cannot know that I cannot bare to see you with him, him, her, or anybody else,
because that is precisely where you've convinced yourself you want to be.
And I refuse to be one of those who hold you back,
even if I know that that means a casualty rate of 2.
You by them.
Me by them
with you.
Because you know that I,
I promise-not pretend, not lie, not hope-that i would never hurt you.
But sometimes,
the best things in life are worth waiting for.