Exploding
Tumbling,
You fumble in the darkness,
Misshapen
Scar-covered
You stumble through the mess
Then suddenly,
Overwhelmingly,
Lightning
Strikes.
It strikes at all your boundaries,
It ricochets off trees,
Bursting into places you once hid
(grieving for your own kind)
There are no longer places for hiding,
Everything is shockingly bright - smashed white
Intensified by lightning.
Graves unearthed
Peoples' sins unturfed,
They run screaming from the evil
That they did,
And the lightning blasting through the trees
Is finally enough to bring them to their knees
But the rocks that they all shrink behind
Are false securities of their mind
For something more powerful
Will take away they cowardly will
And rescue them from the shadow of the Devil.
It's coming closer,
Rumbling thunder,
You beg for mercy (I thought it would be only on my grave)
You're crying in humility (who has come to save me?)
And all at once you're wondering why you never tried
Because the King of the Storm has arrived.
But as it hits you
You realise, you realise you're surviving,
Paralysed, still caked in dirt,
You've been struck down by lightning,
And all out once it doesn't matter anymore
Your ego's bruised, and you're lying on the floor
But you do not turn away
[...because there's goodness rising...]
[said] Edging to the brink in a gamble for control,
Losing everything in a fight for your soul
Wave upon wave comes crashing down upon you,
Fires spit, oceans roar,
Crows scream wildly - eagles soar,
And the lightning illuminates it all...
Suddenly,
Overwhelmingly,
Lightning
Struck
And left you helpless
Author notes
It's my idea of the Apocolypse, and extracts are taken from prophecies in the bible about how people will feel when the Christ returns again, the shame that they will feel and the power with which Jesus will strip away the evil in the world.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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woh
I was reading this out loud, and realised that I was reading it with a Yorkshire accent, and reading it as though I were my grandfather...as if I were sitting in the pub, the fire roaring, with a captivated audience listening to a poetic rhetoric. I love it, particularly the use of Biblical passages. I felt a bit guilty when I read the author notes, the idea of Apocolypse, I thought I had done it injustice by reading it like a minstrel would recite it in an inn in the days of yor...but then I thought, actually, this is exactly what humans are like. If there were to be an Earth after the Apocolypse (which I know there won't be) then I can just imagine people talking about this strange cataclysm that happened without really realising its true overwhelming impact. I have just realised how utterly bizzare this comment is but it did stir up a whole host of emotions.
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Dang!!
wouldn't want to be in a nightmare
like the one you describe for nothing
in the world. Its like you've been sentence
to hell and are trying to escape.
I was born in the south and know all to
well how terrifying lightning can be.
Not to mention the accompanying thunder
that comes with lightning. I've prayed
confessed my sins. Called for my mommie
and made promises I knew I would never
keep all to be free of the thuder and
lightning.lol you recreated the horror
very well indeed. Nice Job!
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Thanks. All you can do to escape this type of lightning is to pray for forgiveness, confess that Christ is Lord, and believe it in your heart. Good job for your courage, and God bless and keep you x
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effective
Folks don't hardly talk about that anymore. good job.
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Mmm... It's ironic that as time goes on, people talk about it less and less, as the more time goes on there is less and less time until it happens...! Thanks for reading.
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Nice piece.
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Thanks
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Superb plus
A most excellent write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Although, personally, I prefer not to be a Christian, I recognize a statement of faith when I see one. Again, well done.
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Prefer 'not to be a Christian' or not, God loves you anyway. Thanks for reading. x
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You are quite welcome.
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This was really good! greatly enjoyed the intensity of this poem.. The flow was nice and the imagery vivid as well. Thak you very muvh for sharing!
Angel
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Thank you for your comment, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. Static.
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"It strikes at all your boundaries
There are no longer places for hiding
But the rocks that they all shrink behind
Are false securities of their mind
Suddenly,
Overwhelmingly,
Lightning
Struck
And left you helpless"
These are my favorite lines, but the entire piece is quite good. You have a good sense of building the suspense and creating the 'mood'. Well done...(A spell check would be of benefit though.) Peace, Rhonda
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Thanks for your constructive comment, and I'm really glad you enjoyed reading my piece. Couldn't find any spelling mistakes on re-reading, but that might be because I'm English, so my spelling is slightly different. If you have any corrections, let me know.
Peace, Static.
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This is a wonderful write that builds up suspense and leads to a powerful ending. Shows great imagery and creativity throughout. Well done!
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Thank you for reading and liking
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Dazzling!
fantastic imagry and the way you wrote it made me feel as if I was in the middle of a big storm. I've also connected with it...at times I've felt stricken by lightning but it seems I'm loved by angels that saved me. I hope they will save you.
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Jesus will save you, if you accept him into your heart and your life. He wants nothing more than to be your closest friend.
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A lot to think about, and think hard about
The day your are called, only He knows...mac
good write,with understanding pointed out.
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Check the book of Revelations in the bible.
Peace out, and thanks for reading and commenting x
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Amazing!
I really enjoyed this write. I loved the visuals and the metophors.
"Graves unearthed
Peoples' sins unturfed,
They run screaming from the evil
That they did,"
I like this verse. It really makes you think about the bottom line and accountability for our actions. In the end, what matters is what you think of yourself. You can run, but you cannot hide..from you.
Amazing word play and tantalizing visuals.
Good job!
Jen
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Yeah, that's the metaphorical part of it, but it's based on an event which really is going to happen at the end of the world - the apocolypse and return of the Christ. I appreciate your appreciation of my writing and different interpretation, it's always interesting to hear what a piece of writing means to someone else.
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