The Precipice of an End

The morning gray ignites a mess of colors
They are small and unbroken,
at least in this room.

Outside,
A singing Robin chews the silence
against an orchestra of weeping clouds.

Sweetness floods my room,
Breath after breath is rapt,
Still, I am soured.

These pillows are soft no more
an end approaches
Swiftly, yet quiet in its charge.

A great cacophany blazes in my head,
but I do not falter in my meloncholy.

"How sweet" I think.

The Robin lingers at the windowpane.

It still hums joy to the gray world.

"It's brighter in the gray little Robin," I whisper.

Some happy thoughts I will feed you,
Perhaps then you will keep humming
Keep me from ripping this chest from my heart.

I see a stranger in my room now,
a small intruder.

A Fly.

Can I defeat him?

Should I raise my boney arm,
wad my crippled hand into a weak fist,
and gather this lifes, life to me?

But how can I?
He is my only company here in this lonely room.

And I am so tired..

I can only shift in my place,
and weep in my mitten of a hand.

All the while my new companion shows devotion.

"Fly," I say, "are you here for my soul?"

A smile greases my face,
and my new companion is silent.

I wish for the song of the gray!
The trumpets of Paradise!
The soft hum of my Robin.

But my Robin is gone.

And my companion is pacing around me.

"Fly, why do you stay?" I coughed out to him.

Quiet never sounded so kind before you came to me,
A Fly.

"I will wither here for your company, I swear it."

I am deplorable at my end,
I fought for all these years,
so intense, yet so weak,
and now I am collateral for a Fly.

How beautiful it was,
a moments company from such a small thing.

I guess, in the end we cry
we shake and sweat,
but it still comes.

Quiet in its charge.

If only life was ugly,
gray and flat and adorned
with fire.

Maybe then I would have courage.

How can I summon this beauty?

Will you follow me on the back of my Fly?

I warn you,
I will set fire to you,
if you come.

If you follow I will hear the hum of my Robin!

If you follow I will remember,
if you follow I will miss this.

Do not find me, beauty
so I do not see the stars
so I do not slit this throat.