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Why?

Why did I have to know you?  
Why did we have to meet?
Surely, I would have gotten by
life could have been complete


 

if you had never said hello
things would have been just fine
why did you have to complicate
the whole of my design?

You gave me colors in the gray,
so rich where there were none.
and sounds and sensuous designs,
as no one else had done.

as none before or since could do
I know, for since that day
the energies have all expired
you took them all away

Now I stagger with no path
through mazes every where
why did you have to be at all
and leave me in despair?

I've asked myself this question

a score of times and yet
I'd be content to never know
if I could just forget.

Author notes

When she left she said she'd come back. She never did.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Molassis
    September 27, 2008

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    Wow, this is a solid write, to say the least. It is excellent in both form and meter. The flow is perfect, making it very easy to follow and understand. Your word choices blew me away. It is fluid... liquid gold.

    It IS very sad... I relate to it a little too much I'm afraid...

    You've expressed your hurt and sadness so very well, I'm impressed! I will be reading more of yours when time permits!

    ~Melissa


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 21, 2008

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    A heartfelt and touching write here! So sad..



  • BluesMan gold member
    September 15, 2008
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    Great rhyme and meterand extremely heart felt. In time when the wounds of romance heal, you'll find that the experiance has played a part in developing your character, you morals and your values. Emotional pain is the wellspring of a writers muse. Go on a


  • Gwenevere
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You sometimes need to experience these things to make you ready for the real experiences.Believe you me they will come along and be much richer than before, , Ros


  • toomysterious
    September 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The rhyme and flow is so lovely, the story so sad and heartfelt, altogether so beautiful.

  • angelaononchan
    September 13, 2008

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    So sad. I am so bad at rhymes and reverse, you are so good. It is like you regret because something bad has happend to you because of that person and if you didn't know that person life couldn't have been so bad and sad. I felt it once when my best friend (not now) Suddenly was treating me worse and some people say she is only pretending to like me. Too bad it wasn't on the topic. Keep up.


  • PurringKitten silver member
    September 12, 2008

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    for when she left she was coming back but untrue to her words despire is left...if one could only forget...sighs...winner for sure in my book


  • Amera gold member
    September 12, 2008

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    What a wonderful quatrain with the rhyme right on target. Not sure about the judges comment. Perhaps she missed the metaphor.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • BonnieQ silver member
    September 12, 2008

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    Great Reflection of Loss Emotion!

    Ah, dear one, now I understand why the host said this great poem is not the contest subject matter of losing one of our senses, such as hearing or seeing or tasting and so forth. However, this is great and I am certain many people can identify with the emotions of loss you have exemplified so well.

    I noted that there is some punctuation yet not in a complete manner: remember, either no punctuation at all or all that should be. And, if punctuation is used, then proper capitalization should be used at the beginning of a complete sentence with a period, or whatever, ending it. Each stanza should begin a new sentence.

    The only other thing I noticed was a tiny bit of redundancy: "and yet," choose one or the other, which might mean having to add another single syllable word in order to maintain the line meter. Otherwise, this is a winner in any other contest!

    Much love, SisBon


  • solitarytear
    September 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    again

    not on the topic of this contest....


  • Z1-N-OnlyEvilMonkey
    September 11, 2008

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    This is a good one!! It kind of sounds like what I would write. Hope you do well in the contest!
    Loves

1 - 11 of 11