When every passing day
Was a new burden to behold,
I bottled up my hurt inside
And no one else was told.
But soon the empty space within
Began to fill right up
And I could hold it in no more
As my heart had had enough.
The dam broke down and tears burst free,
And I sobbed out all my pain
But as I was alone in bed that night,
Their escape was all in vain.
I contemplated suicide
For a moment ever so brief
But knew this act could only bring
A momentary relief.
Shrouded in the darkness,
My body wracked with tears
I released the burdens of my pain
To God's own listening ears.
And as I cried my heart out
In this emotional release,
I felt the darkness calming
And knew a sudden peace.
There was no rustle of feathered wings,
No gentle voice spoke in my ear,
Yet in that quiet serenity,
I knew an angel was waiting near.
She did not lay a hand on me,
Nor wipe the tears from my eye
But I knew that she was with me
As the night rolled softly by.
And something passed within my heart
That words could not explain.
Without appearing to me
She lay healing to my pain
Now the darkness has begun to lift
Revealing patches of light
It's the shining of her halo
Come to guide me through my night.
24th Jan 2008
03.30am
Author notes
Written on 24th Jan 2008 at 03.30am. I was having a particularly bad night with tears, and inner pain, and unstoppable sobs until this happened, which it did, truly, and became one of the most magical experiences of my life.I know this was a turning point in my depression.
I know who she was, and I'm so thankful that she came back to guide me. I believe not everyone would be as selfless as that, for I imagine paradise must be a difficult place to leave in order to assist those you loved back on earth...
In a list
A contest entry
- To say goodbye by BleedingBlackTears.
600 points, ended December 3, 2008, 80 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Green To Gold- Enter HM Winning Poems Only by Mercury Rising.
700 points, ended May 12, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wheres My Guardian Angel Gone? xxx by Scarlet x Stone.
650 points, ended October 19, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Win More Than Once? by MJ Forgives.
1218 points, ended November 12, 224 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 78 of 78
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Wow I can totally relate to your poem. I am sorry that happened. I know how that goes. You did a really good job writing this. I really like your poem and enjoyed reading this so much. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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thanks for entering my contest. i love your prompt it's very inspiring. good luck in the contest and keep writing!
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Sad
Suicide poems are very sad. Losing a loved one is depressing, it is sad when just about anyone loses their life especially when they take it. Your rhyming is not always the same pattern but this poem is about sweetness of someone else not rhyming. -
Hey, this is a very beautiful and powerful write. I had a similiar experience when i first felt my Angel. I am sorry that you went through pain and sadness, but i am glad you felt your angels presense, they are very strong. Thank You xxx
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This poem is amazing. It is sad and the first part of your poem touched my heart and made me feel like crying.
I'm glad that something happened that helped you in life. That is a precious moment to remember. You are cared for and loved by Angels or spirits of loved ones nearby.
Thank you very much for your entry
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Poetess12,
thank you for your lvoely comment it is indeed a moment to remember - i've had three 'moments' like that, in my lifetime, and all are cherised & treasured as equally as the other.
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A beautiful testimony, I love the power of God just showing up at those now and wow moments. There is healing power in the blood of Jesus. Awesome. Excellent. Blessings.
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Denerica,
Thank you so much for reading, commenting * leaving behidn those clappies
Couldn't agree more with what you said
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sorry applause didn't Submit
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very beautifully expressed
an inner knowing
I believe you can feel when inner pain is lifted
just so lovely to read
God bless you my friend...
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Pisces Rainbow,
thank you for such a lovely comment
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The depth of feeling is remarkable in this beautifully penned piece. Way to go.....
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SabaSophiya,
thank you so much
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Superb Plus +
Ah, 'tis a fine write, indeed and one with which I can personally relate due to the years I suffered from chronic depression. Thanks to physicians; time spent in Mental Health Wards, appropriate meds,and spiritual teachings, I overcame the problem.
This one also reminds me of my own series on Depression.
Thanks for sharing. -
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Clovis...Curious,
thank you for your comments; am sorry to hear what you had to go to, but relieved at the same time that you were able to come out 'the other side' as was I!
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I think this is the way God (of any stripe) operates--without obvious tangible or visible signs, but just by communicating an inner peace. Lovely poem!
Technicals:
I think this poem might be even better without rhyme.
Verse 1, line 4: Passive voice.
Verse 2, line 2: 'Right' is filler. Remove it, and the line does not lose meaning. All it does is maintain rhythm. I'd take it out.
Verse 2, line 4: Same for 'As.'
Verse 4, line 2: I'd change 'ever so' to something else.
Verse 5, line 4: I'd remove 'own.' Same as right and as.
Verse 6, line 2: You can remove this entire line without changing the meaning of the poem.
Verse 8, line 2: Should be 'eyes.'
Verse 8, line 4: Don't need 'softly.' -
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Aerdan,
Thank you for reading and commenting For me, this has to rhyme - because rhyme is how I best write and - whilst I do appreciate hugely the effort you went to with editing it, I can't/won't change it -
the majority of poems, I would take on board advice & edit changes BUT this is one of the few poems I've written [there's about 4 of them in the 1000+ I've done] that are so close to my heart, and so very much ME that to change them would take away from them being a part of ME - if that makes any sense.
But I do so appreciate the ideas
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I am so sorry that I clicked on you again. I did not realize that had before. I still like the piece though. Thank you
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Yes, sometimes this can happen and a serenity arrives, regardless of religious belief. I am glad you were healed and able to go on
Congrats on the trophies. It was a poem that I could relate to, partially anyway.
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Judith Chandler,
that's it exactly; moments like this do not have to be religious. I realise mine was, but I do believe that there are plenty of others that are not releated to religion and it doesn't make mine or theirs any less believable.
Thanks for reading and commenting
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I'm sorry for your pain and wish you well
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sulalee,
i appreciate the comment thankfully that was the beginning of the end of the dark period for me!
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beautiful
I really loved this poem fantastic write and so touching how God release you form all your pain. I was really touched by your beautiful words. Keep penning.
Blessings!
Sharon
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Sharon Marie,
am glad you enjoyed thank you very much.
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Powerful poem...thankyou for writing it and sharing it with us!
Your heart and soul
are strength, courage and hope!
wow!
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
ears/Seattle
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ears2hearyou,
Thank you so much - what a powerful comment you left, and it made me smile
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An amazing poem, very well written, it made for an impressive read. You really draw the reader in with your words. Well done.
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ionabus,
Thank you so much for reading adn commenting
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I too believe in angels and that there is one assigned especially for me and me alone-I believe we all have our own angels that way it makes God's work a wee bit easier-and yes, I have often felt this angel with me -I have identified with your write and found it completely moving
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a u r a,
Thank you - I'm glad you could identify. I will digress in that I believe that our angels choose US, and that they're not always the same - but who, knows Yours could well be right. THanks for reading & commenting
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I've never been that spiritual and I never will be, but I really liked this. I loved the way you wrote it, it was beautiful to read. A truly moving experience.
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LadyGothicka,
I appreciate that you could read it and comment without being spiritual yourself - and thank you for the lovely comment you left
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wow
Me being a very spirtal person and belif in rligon als a teenager that is all i can say as i expence pian and a quilty shiver when i know angels are within my presents
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TammyMcs,
I know, - this was [as i just said to someone else] one of the most surreal moments of my life, and out of my entire life, I've only had three encounters WITH the 'other side' - this being one of them, so certainly it's something I will remember, and cherish always
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"And something passed within my heart
That words could not explain.
Without appearing to me
She lay healing to my pain
Now the darkness has begun to lift
Revealing patches of light
It's the shining of her halo
Come to guide me through my night."
My two favorite stanzas. I love poets who use sad and difficult experiences and find a light at the end of the poem. There aren't many poems like that out there. This poem is a great influence to anyone who is dealing with depression. Good luck with your contests and great job! -
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speak slow,
thank you for reading and commenting. I am glad that you enjoyed this - and believe you me, THIS was the precise moment that I knew I would come through my depression ... it was, perhaps, one of the most amazing [and surreal] moments of my life - but one I'll never forget
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these are true feelings of depression
the dam broke down my tears burst free
the angel is our conscious in our mind
an angel is our inner thoughts
we all know this feeling of showing emotion
as a relief
it is great
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Violinstrings,
what a lovely username you have really like it.
Thanks for your comment; i am glad you enjoyed it
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And something passed within my heart
That words could not explain.
Without appearing to me
She lay healing to my pain
Now the darkness has begun to lift
Revealing patches of light
It's the shining of her halo
Come to guide me through my night.
So beautiful, release comes when we least expect it. We are never alone. -
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Indelicately Wicked,
thank you for reading & Commenting [and no hassle for accidentially clicking twice!] I couldn't agree more with what you said
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Very moving
I can completely relate to this experience... although it is unique for each of those who are fortunate enough to be blessed in this way. Really enjoyed this... thank you!
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cfehl11 ,
you summed it up exactly; as I said to someone below, I believe we all have interaction with our angels regularly - but don't always know it. thanks for commenting
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thank you so much for sharing one of the most magical and uplifting moments of your life. I can almost feel every emotion dripping from the words. I love poems that involve a journey and I'm so glad yours had a happy ending that night. Ellie
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thank you hon, i'm glad you liked it - and hope you're doing okay
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Very Spiritually Awakening. Great job!
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F my life again ,
thanks for your comment & applauds; appreciated
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A very uplifting and lovely spiritual poem with a positive ending. This is very reminiscent of my friend Greenwolfe 1962 in it's rhytmic style.Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
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Mercury Rising ,
I will check out your friends' writing Thanks for commenting
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well done. i wish i had angel too. make things so much better, u give me at least brittle hope thank you
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BleedingBlackTears,
I do believe that we all have an angel assigned to us; as odd as that may sound, and perhaps 'assigned' is the wrong word - but that we encounter them regularly, not daily - but without knowing it sometimes
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This was an awesome read..........I can so relate ..My husband (The Love of my Life) passed away a little over two years ago from cancer...Thank you so much for such a beautiful read
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thank you for your comment. i am so sorry to hear about your husband, it cannot have been remotely easy for you but healing - healing does come ,with time - and love, and tears
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Broken Angel
I cannot find "Broken Angel". However I will keep looking and probably read some of your other work en route.
I have experienced strange things happen to me at night when I have been at my lowest ebb. I have felt cats jumping on my bed I could even feel their fur. (I have had many cats as pets during my life so thought maybe they had come to comfort me,but changed my mind when there were so many). People grabbing my hands and the bed dropping and rising again. I never saw anything, but was awake during these times; and petrified. Very strange and has not happened again since; thank god.
I will not read any of your animal ones in case there is any sign of cruelty or suffering which when it comes to animals makes me feel phisically sick and haunts me for days afterwards.
I have read the "Healing gift" which I did comment on but can't find my comment anwhere so don't know if I sent it correctly. It is great and I can relate to all of it. It is strange that even in your darkest place there is always that glimmer of hope somewhere inside you.
Oh after writing this I have just noticed my comment underneath.
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This is great.
Yes I understand all of it. Even when you are in the darkest place there always seems to be a tiny glimmer of hope that keeps you going.
I'll Read the other one now. May be you would read my poem "Down" this is a similar type of poem to "The Devil also written when I was in a low state. Most of my poems are grim also. -
Honest and Wonderful
I enjoyed reading this, it was heartfelt and sincere. I believe a lot of people will be able to relate to this piece and best of all those who are contemplating suicide may realize that GOD is here with us even in those darkest of times, to help heal us, love us and allow us to go on. Many Blessings to you, FAH
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thank you for your comment suicide is tempting to the best of us at times, but, - would we really give away the greatest gift ever, for a brief dalliance with the dark side? i hope not.
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I contemplated suicide
For a moment ever so brief
But knew this act could only bring
A momentary relief.
I like this here. It's nice when someone can see that a permanent act such as suicide is, isn't just a harmless act.
I liked everything that I read.
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thank you. indeed, it is not a simple task - nor an easy one, but to so many it seems a way out that i wonder what their final thoughts are. i appreicate the comment - sorry my response is so late
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You are as bold and honest in your poem as you were that evening. The courage I believe is what called the angel to you. Of course, you can be what you need to be as required to call the angel. You must then embrace the next step, which is what your poem shares…
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thank you for your comment the angel which came to me, it has turned out, is my spirit guide - one i am only unveieling now these past few months, and learning more about, but the comfort to know that she has revelaed herself to me is unexplainable
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Lovely! Exellent flow. It just goes to show...its darkest before the dawn! Pam
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thank you Pam, and I couldn't agree more - it always gets worse before it gets better
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This is fantastic, it is so tranquil and theres an element of hope even in the most bad times. It is such an inspirational and beautiful piece
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Severe depression has been the most physically and emotionally debilitating experiences in my life. There has been several times that suicide seemed the only way out. But for me, as with you, it was when we reached that final point of being driven to our knees, God was there, right on time, sending an angel to our rescue. It is only by true faith, that we live to tell others how God has changed us.
Keep up up the good work,
Joe
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This write should encourage others and make them realise that there is hope at the darkest times.I am pleased you were able to share your experience, Ros
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excellent
I contemplated suicide
For a moment ever so brief
But knew this act could only bring
A momentary relief.
Shrouded in the darkness,
My body wracked with tears
I released the burdens of my pain
To God's own listening ears.
And as I cried my heart out
In this emotional release,
I felt the darkness calming
And knew a sudden peace.
inner woes to a point..well portrayed..you did a wonderful job.thanks for sharing..visit my poetry and do offer comments.
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Superb plus
Coools! A very fine write, indeed, with which I can relate. I suffered from chronic depression for many years until I found the right combination of various treatments. Now, I'm not on meds, and my moods are quiet stable. You expressed your self quiet well indeed. Thanks for sharing. -
The most wonderful poem I have ever read
Honey this write is all my poems of hope and the guidance to help others all rolled up into this excellent piece of work . Bravo on this one and it should hold a gold trophy indeed
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Suffering is hard. But when you can cry it out and then write....magic.
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I was like this before I understand it and it was about the same time as you were going through this I am sorry that you have to suffer life is hard and at tiems it feels unliveable
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This was such a sorrowful read in the beginning, yet the ending brings about a new life for you it seems. something more, "stable" I really enjoyed reading this. It was full of heartfelt emotion, thank you very much for sharing..
Angel
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Symphony...this is so beautifully written and I know that others will relate to experiencing this kind of comfort. After the death of my mother, my daughter who was grieving badly, crying alone each night and trying hard to come too terms with it, woke one morning to her bedroom filled with an amber glow and such warmth...it was December and there was no winter sun shining through the window, in fact it was just coming light outside. I knew and so did my daughter that the healing had begun......think what you will, but the warm glow was angel wings wrapping around her, I'm so very sure of this. Thank you so very much for sharing this stunning piece of work with us all. Simply beautiful and heart warming. Well done.
Shaz xx
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I so know this feeling of healing. We forget we aren't suppose to carry our burdens, to not do so would make us weak. I don't know if your religous, but this is a way He helps us deal with things.god bless. This is truly a write from the heart that was meant to share with others.
Rose
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And something passed within my heart
That words could not explain.
Without appearing to me
She lay healing to my pain
Truly a mystery of God and angels. I've had this happen before and it saved my life. You're poem was lovely and very heartfelt. It brought back a sense of peace into my hectic day, and for that I thank you ;-) -
awww sissy, this was very sad but I love the ending. I'm glad you found your angel. I hope by reading your poetry I can find out a bit more about you too
and DONT bottle things up! Its not good for you
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I remember feeling like this a few times in my life an overwhelming feeling of peace came over me, it has been hard for me to put these feelings in words.
but you have brilliantly.
I hope all that read this are inspired to pray
very lovely write
God bless my friend...
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Wonderful
That angel to guide you and that magic pen to enlighten the reader. carry on dear poet.
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