Doctor cups chin in hand
fingers drum jawline
my head spins, inwardly cringe
"Congratulations Mrs. Jones,
you're having twins."
In a list
A contest entry
- Set phrasers to STUN (This is a Contest.) by blind ecye dog.
850 points, ended October 17, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Genuinely Honest Comments Please
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Not much suspense as to the author. Your poem is in a list containing your AP name.
Reminds me of the old joke. "I have good news Mrs. Jones." "That is Miss Jones." "I have bad news Miss Jones...."
You carve out a moment in time that is surely significant to one or more but hardly stunning in the sense that I meant.
If Mrs. Jones was unaware I am sure she feels otherwise.
Great way to tell the story. RED -
-
Thank you for your constructive comment. I AM Mrs. Jones
and the twins are 31 years old, lol. The next stunning moment when I informed Mr. Jones that we had to buy a second baby bed!
Well, stun is in the eye of the beholder I guess. Great contest red!
-
-
brilliant good luck in the contest
-
-
Thank you maralisa!!!
-
-
Aw I like this lol. Is it really true? If so congradulations!
Megan -
-
Thank you Angel, yes it's true. They (the twins) are 31 years old now
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
