exposed
imposed unto the heart strings
that hold onto the scab
that forms while time
tricks you in to thinking
that it is healed
underneath
sneaking a peek
it is still red
fresh and fierce
nail pick
away
until the ooze of hurt leaks out
unintentionally
Author notes
PROMPT 4:
Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again.
- Rosa Parks - under 50 words
In a list
A contest entry
- quote inspired quickie♥ by etoile.
410 points, ended September 22, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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this was a good take on the prompt. the first stanza was really intriguing and made me want to read more, but as i continued i didn't think the rest was as strong.
also punctuation could help this flow better.
exposed
imposed unto the heart strings
that hold onto the scab
that forms while time
tricks you in to thinking
that it is healed
---
i loved it so much i just had to copy it here. this stanza was really well written, one tiny correction 'in to' should be 'into'
thanks a lot for entering and goodluck
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i do not use punctuation or capitalization much ... i am a free poet whom chooses to only use something when i feel it necessary, and i hardly ever do. also i enter contests that specifically do not say "will critique" cos i think critiquing is BS. though i understand your contest and your rules on judging goes . and i wanted the "in to" to be just like that, when read aloud it sounds right to me ... thanks for the HM and i hope to see you around ...
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damn you commented quick...
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the hurt always oozes out unintentionally...
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