You touched all the things
that her heart had yearned for years,
picking up her pain
and drying all those tears
and you walked along together
down that path of broken pleas
till she was on her knees, needing you
and she was so naive,
believing you, believing you.
[CHORUS]
But she is just a girl
living in a woman's world
and her pain is just the same
as it aches within her soul.
Circumstances took control
and she feels so all alone
cos you don't love her
the way that you used to.
Once you both shared dreams
till you unpicked the seams
and she's looking so confused,
knowing all she stands to lose,
but you haven't turned away
or walked away from her.
You stay surrounded in her loss
but without your passion's care.
And the talk's now turned to dread
fleeting moments, fraying threads
of what once could've been
And you glance at sorrow's smiles,
linger only for a while
showing hurt she's always seen
Cos your dreamer's world collapsed
and she didn't stand a chance
and hope became a memory
of an ever fading dance
yesterday became her present
refrains of songs that didn't last
and attempts to save her story
are now driven in the past
[CHORUS]
But she is just a girl
living in a woman's world
and her pain is just the same
as it aches within her soul.
Circumstances took control
and she feels so all alone
cos you don't love her
the way that you used to.
[BRIDGE]
She didn't need the path
that both hearts forced her to walk,
she didn't need those words-
all that empty-ended talk
and she didn't need more pain
that would live inside her soul
when life lost all control, wanting you
and she was so naive,
believing you, believing you.
[CHORUS]
But she is just a girl
living in a woman's world
and her pain is just the same
as it aches within her soul.
Circumstances took control
and she feels so all alone
cos you don't love her
the way that you used to.
Now she walks this world alone
down that road of shattered dreams
and you can hear the echoes
of her sad and lonely screams
and you recollect those times
when love warmed a dreamer's hands
and you see what you have done
and yet you still don't understand.
And you make such rash excuses
to justify those dying plans,
soothing your own conscience
doing everything you can,
but you ignore her pain
and instil longing all the same
yet you changed the path of fate
now it's too late, it's too late.
[CHORUS]
But she is just a girl
living in a woman's world
and her pain is just the same
as it aches within her soul.
Circumstances took control
and she feels so all alone
cos you don't love her
the way that you used to,
cos you don't love her
the way that you used to,
cos you don't love her
the way that you used to.
Author notes
Inspired by "House On A Hill" by Caitlin Stubbs
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=210085793
(Click the youtube window at the bottom right hand side of the page)
A contest entry
- 2 year anniversary! by bananasfoster42.
525 points, ended October 27, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
This is an incredible portrayal of love and pain. You have a way with words that makes emotion seem so pure, while still allowing room for abstract interpretations. I LOVE your writing!!
-
This was [so] beautifully written - I'm compelled to ask you if you have music set to it, or, if you have uploaded the music anywhere - i would LOVE to hear what sort of theme tune you had running through your head for it, as I am sure it is far different to the beginnings of a song which I was humming while reading it, setting each word to music mentally... I live in hope that you have it written and uploaded ...
Favourite part had to be;
"Cos your dreamer's world collapsed
and she didn't stand a chance
and hope became a memory
of an ever fading dance
yesterday became her present
refrains of songs that didn't last
and attempts to save her story
are now driven in the past"
So poetic, nostalgic, bittersweet - and profound. Truly, I enjoyed reading gthis - I only wish I could have first read it while listening to it on my ipod! I haven't heard the song that it was inspired by, but will definitely check that out later! Thank you for entering
-
WOW!! this is amazing!!! like fareal. thanks for entering!!!
-
I'd love to hear music put to this...cause it would make an amazing song I think...ya did a great job displaying her struggle and her emotion...great write...thanks for entering
-
This is truly amazing. It has been written extremely eloquently, and it has a wonderful flow to it. It's extremely sensual and touching and moves me. It appears as though you have really written this from the heart. It is doubly commendable also because it has been written as lyrics, which I think is slightly more difficult in some ways.
Anyway, a great reads, thanks so much for entering!
Katie
-
Oh I'd love to hear this beauty put to music. Lovely and dark. The chorus is wonderful! Well done here! Good luck in the contest.
-
Truely beautiful.
-
Love is Dark
It is a song bringing the pain back to those who have forgotten and is a witness to those who still hurt that the rules were changed mid-love. Great write.
Tecohe
-
This is so beautiful and unique indeed,
Full of emotion and any young girl/woman
Can relate to this,I know I certainly did,Hazel
-
wonderful
This is absolutely amazing, good luck on the contest.. theres such a strong emotional backdrop to this song I can almost hear it playing in my head. amazing job
-
I know it's difficult to write lyrics, so I am doubly impressed!
-
wow....this was an amazingly awesome piece! i am speachless...the imagry in each line was amazing and the words of this write is just packed with emotion you did a great job keep up the amazingly awesome work
i loved the lyrics and i would love to hear this with some music do you have any ideas on what type of music you would use for these lyrics?
~vampiry julianna
-
Nicely Done!
The lyrics express emotions I think are common within each of us at some time or another. I'm with the previous commenter, I would like to hear this put with music. Also, in a way reminiscent of 'Breaking the Girl' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Nicely done! -
i really think this is good! do you have the music to it or is it still in the just lyrics stage? at anyrate this was really good
-
Once you both shared dreams
till you unpicked the seams
and she's looking so confused,
knowing all she stands to lose,
but you haven't turned away
or walked away from her.
You stay surrounded in her loss
but without your passion's care.
this is my fave verse, i love the flow of it and the lyrics are amazing, well done and keep up the good writing, msg me any links of poems you want me to read. -
I think this is good, for lyrics. It reads well and has a good flow. Can't criticize as I don't write them, but I think you have done a superior job with your prompt.
-
excellent
But she is just a girl
living in a woman's world
and her pain is just the same
as it aches within her soul.
Circumstances took control
and she feels so all alone
cos you don't love her
the way that you used to.
Now she walks this world alone
down that road of shattered dreams
and you can hear the echoes
of her sad and lonely screams
and you recollect those times
when love warmed a dreamer's hands
and you see what you have done
and yet you still don't understand.
lilting chorus and welld done. I loved the above lines..lyrical quality.I began humming.pls visit my poetry as well.
-
ao beautifull
-
Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. You expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done. -
I am not familiar with the prompt song, but your work stands on its own. This is a departure from your usual style of poetry, but you have done a wonderful job. Growing up and making mistakes while falling in love is always painful. It seems it is only as we mature that we are more tentative about believing the promises. And that is not always a good thing either. This has a nice rhythm and I can certainly imagine it set to music. Peace, Liz
-
But she is just a girl
living in a woman's world
and her pain is just the same
as it aches within her soul.
Circumstances took control
and she feels so all alone
cos you don't love her
the way that you used to.
Wow, I think many women (and men) will be able to relate to this. It's an excellent piece that will do well to music! Well done! -
Wow I didn't expect to read your attempt at songs! This was really great...I could definitely imagine it with music. =)
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
