A soul invites a mirror,
The figure travels nearer,
On fire with all its glory,
To reveal her hidden story,
Bewildered by the reflection,
She seeks utter redemption,
Shattered hopes curse forgotten dreams,
Her face turns away from the screams,
Curious again, her pale eyes search for meaning,
Wishing deeply for the other side she sees when she is dreaming,
She see’s shadows scar the face, hungry for lights touch,
The heavenly light she surrenders for so much,
Hair- silky straw, tied up in golden grays,
Commented from afar, no sound, no heart, no praise,
Skin bombed with leprosy, thin with shredded layers,
Followed deep at night, torched by her slayers,
Pumped pink lips afar turn blacky coal,
She turns into the light, bleeding in her soul,
Voices gently summon, and she can bless again,
‘I’m sorry Mr God for not eating, I’m sorry. Amen’.
Author notes
Option 1.
A contest entry
- Mirror, Mirror..... by cre8tiv-writer.
650 points, ended September 11, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything You Want :) Enter Please :) by fairytalelovestory.
550 points, ended September 29, 2008, 48 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sorry Brother by Falcon SilverWolf.
300 points, ended September 23, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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what caused the sadness that made you write this one?
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alot
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Sad
"Wishing deeply for the other side she sees when she is dreaming"
This line was beautiful, but it was a bit too long and stuck out. Other than that, I could feel the sadness.
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A deep write..The mirrors reflection reveals vivid pictures of the woman, while your imagery takes us even farther into her soul...Brilliant write young lady!
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A sole invites a mirror, <-- Out of curiosity, do you mean soul?
Thank you so much for sharing, I truly do appreciate this and this poem has a lovely flow and a lovely rhyme structure.
You did a great job with this.
Jeff. -
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oo, yes it does. I keep forgetting to change it
thx for the comment
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I am sorry, but this is what I call pedestrian rhyme. Your meter is uneven in most places and nonexistant in others.
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I thought it had a lot of thought in it, but it didn't have enough personality, it seemed really simple. I love the words you wrote i think you can just put more personal expierence in it to give it more dimension...good luck in the contest and keep writting...scars.
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WOW! Great poem!
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hmm this is very unique. I had no expected this from the poem but i did enjoy it. Congrats and good luck
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Bewildered by the reflection,
She seeks utter redemption,
Shattered hopes curse forgotten dreams,
Her face turns away from the screams,
such beauty in these lines. -
This is a truly beautiful, yet harsh write. It flows very nicely and leaves the reader wanting more. Excecllent job!!
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Holey moley. Your style of writing is amazing, and the beauty of this poem takes my breath away, as many of yours do. I love the way you have phrased it, it's amazing. Very poignant and sorrowful too. Keep writing dear friend
Chin up
xx
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naaw thank you
x
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