(i)
I sit in a sailboat
on a strange planet
with no wind
or water
holding a broken compass
all it does is shake its head
I wake up
I'm still there.
(ii)
I'm still there
she's still pointing mud-caked fingers
in random directions still spewing charred cuss words
her dirty hair gets into her eyes mouth gut
she sinks deeper and deeper
into slush
save me
she says
lifting her arms
crying to the moon.
(iii)
blindfolded
I could sense you
in that happy human maze with its
assorted chocolate smell of breathing bodies
excited outstretched arms
fumble
for familiar frequencies
collide
apologize
laugh
you and I walk sure steps
towards each other
love is more precise than science I think
you are north
(iv)
still wandering this strange planet
still veer into dead-end denials
blind alleys with rusted roofs
where courage hides
in damp corners
the circles are getting smaller
tighter
anytime now
I expect to find
the center
of
me.
Author notes
compass
A contest entry
- Collage by Cat.
3500 points, ended October 4, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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very nicely done, great entry here...
al -
thank you
hmmm... food for thought here. Let me see if I can make it better without making it worse
"you are north" I love that.
-
let me tell you what i love about this piece- a lot.
i love the voice of it-
love, love, love the vignettes- i am a huge fan of vignettes and these are done well
a couple thoughts while reading: take em or leave em
1. although there are only 3 i's.. it feels very I heavy.
2. hers and she's - again very heavy with them
3. "you will be my true north" has been done "you are north" has not.. just a thought
love the last line of 4- if it were mine.. i would end at 4.
the only reason i am saying anything is because i think this is a very strong piece.
thanks so much for entering
m
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I enjoyed the images in all of this and the purpose
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I love the wisdom from the moon; and how it comes on the tail of a chuckle, really cool use of the prompt.
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Yes, I like this. I like the different views, like the cardinal points, and the recognition of need to find your centre.
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