I wait each day for class to end,
Impatient through and through,
Because I cannot wait until
The moment I'll see you.
I always truly love to see
That smile on your face;
It also warms my heart to know
I caused it in the first place.
I'm dismal when we are apart,
As lonely as I've been;
The instant that I see you, though,
I cannot help but grin.
This game is long and tiresome;
It's troublesome to play,
Yet our meetings brush it all aside
At the end of every day.
Author notes
It's hard to find time (now that school's started) to write anything, so I'm just glad to have completed a piece. Certainly not one of my best... nor one of my favorites... but at least it's something.
Although having no classes with some of your best friends is a real pain, it makes the few times you DO see them that much more valuable. (But it's still really irritating.) >.<
Does it flow well? Could you feel the emotion?
Comments
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I like it how it's short and sweet. Not one of your best in terms of it being emotive, but with time constraints it's easy to understand. A time limit on word choice is an enormous challenge.
My favourite line in the poem is:
"It also warms my heart to know
I caused it in the first place."
This is part of what friendship is all about. Just the pure, naked joy when you're around your 'family'. You've conveyed that well! It also flows quite well. That same line that I love does stutter, but otherwise you've done well in that regard too!
It's important to remember that sometimes you can say in a few words what can be said in a few stanzas. Be wary of our tendency to overdo it - it can destroy a well written poem.
Otherwise, I'm waiting for your next one!!!
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The waiting game is nothing but a royal pain in the butt, i know, keep it flowing
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