I hold the key
to spare, simple necessities
in this oblong of space
colored...dull.
With nondescript amenities
to wash away accumulated dust
from miles of business
and boredom.
Threadbare drapes pulled closed
hang limp against
grime coated windows that
frame the $46-a-night view.
Turn and Behold! night's companion...
the vacant eye of "Television"
seated blandly upon the mirrored dresser.
The mirror that reflects
the utility
of an empty room with no warmth.
Merely a place to
hesitate
between point of entry
and destination.
And I hold the key...
Author notes
Prompt: Motel Room
A contest entry
- Motel Room by Danna Hobart.
390 points, ended September 25, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Share your thoughts...
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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A very fitting description of most motel rooms. Thank you for entering the contest.
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Oh, thank God!! The whole time I was reading I was thinking, Oh, this doesn't sound like you! Then I saw the prompt.
Strong entry into the contest, good luck with it! 
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Very well done. . .
Having been both the traveller and the "host" in such a place, you have captured the "view" exactly without too many words. For those thathave been there, showing us so we remember the images. For those thathave not, enough to paint a picture thatmay have them go down the road instead.
More importantly, with the phrase:
Merely a place to
hesitate
between point of entry
and destination.
You have turned to "Motel Room" into a metaphor for many of the places life takes us. And, many of them are not whatwe would have hoped for "merely a place to hesitate." Fine work and good luck in the contest. ~ Timothy
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Beautiful
You imagination of a hotel room is so vivid! You have captured the feeling of its occupant also very well. Best of luck in the contest. Happy to see you here.
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Wow! This room isn't for me.
Very strong sister!
The use of the 'key' at beginning and end has worked brilliantly... this possession that's absolutely useless in itself as an object... and yet as a symbol of freedom of movement in the choice to be there or not, is priceless!
This is an excellent write!
I would hope it to do very well in the contest.
Is it just me or is there a great difference between the feelings conjured up 'Motel' and 'Hotel'? 'Hotel' for me brings a far more positive feeling about it, perhaps it's not so 'needs must' in feeling.
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Gee, sounds like you been a road warrior
Perfect description. 6th stanza, a gem of a description.
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*Gracious Bow*
This is great, one of those nights I'm feelin invulnerable and on top of the world, and reading this only makes me feel that much more awesome. I guess it just radiates awesomeness. Thanks for making my night that much better.
I knew you were on my favourites for a reason
CI
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This is an amazing write and should do extremely well in the contest.
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