The cinnamon roll had an after taste of Lemon Pledge,
like acid rain falling from lemon meringue clouds.
But he wasn't after taste.
He wanted the comfort of cinnamon and dough,
the sloshing of sugar and grease that
rendered him half dead,
numb to the implications
of working a job he had philosophical
(and vaguely moral)
objections to.
The unimaginative
(and thoroughly defeated)
will protest that neither
philosophy
nor morality
("however vague")
were inherent in stocking shelves.
But it wasn't the stocking itself he hated.
It was what it meant.
His was the duty of
Creating and Maintaining Order.
He was the chain tightener,
the greaser of cogs,
powering the mill
that slowly ground his soul into a
fine, cinnamony powder
(with an after taste like
firebombs cooling in the freezer,
or half-finished graffiti),
to be spread on a doughy roll,
and munched into torpid tractability.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Great!
This is very well written, and i definitely empathize, as my job is much the same, and hated in the exact same way. Love the ending, as well. I always have trouble ending my poetry. I just want to keep on writing when it's not necessary, and it seems to drag on forever... So wonderful job with this one, i applaud you. And i hope to read more from you soon!
~Miranda
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MUCH better than I expected from your listing in the Shameless column ("I ate a cinnamon roll and shat a poem")
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AWESOME!!!
"He wanted the comfort of cinnamon and dough,
the sloshing of sugar and grease that
rendered him half dead,
numb to the implications
of working a job he had philosophical
(and vaguely moral)
objections to."
great description here!! prolific!
"The unimaginative
(and thoroughly defeated)
will protest that neither
philosophy
nor morality
("however vague)
were inherent in stocking shelves."
i love the use of parentheses here, and the words youve chosen!
"that slowly ground his soul into a
fine, cinnamony powder
(with an after taste like
firebombs cooling in the freezer,
or half-finished graffiti),"
Magnificent!!
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I kind of love where you've gone with this, good solid meaning, maybe a little more wordy than it needs to be for the message/ maybe I'm just dim...I wrote an attempt called "Fish & Chips"- didn't work out. Thanks for a good read.
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yup, dig it and relate.
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wow
i wasn't expecting so much from your shameless intro.... but i LOVE it....its one giant metaphor, and it more or less relates to all of us.... good write, the vocabulary was magnificent : )
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