woods infested
bare stunned nubs
gnawed, nibbled leaves
cast no shadows
gypsies gave
no rest
horny, deep rooted thistles
watched you leave
as if some horror movie
unrolled like
phantasm vegetation
your hairy trunk
contorted
each scrape
and every crawl
the ill
you still
squirm
under my sole
.
A contest entry
- Collage by Cat.
3500 points, ended October 4, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I love moths and particularly enjoyed the gypsy conceit. The horror movie part reminded me of the creepy phantasm series and the "devouring" ball. This reveals how terrifying nature is..
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Extraordinary write, enjoyable read
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First Class Imagery
The refer to the Gypsy was the best line in this. It threw me for a bit, then it sank in.
Keep your pen handy. I want more.
Joe
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no nits either, i like this a lot...
great entry
al -
i have no nits heidi.. i think this is really really good..
a strong write- interesting, great imagery- just a good , strong piece in this contest
m
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I hate them little buggers too; my imagination knew at "gnawed, nibbled leaves" where you were going. excellent and unique direction for the promt.
ken
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i read this through the first time and i loved the images and the dark undertones and i thought where do the gypsies fit in?...after a quick look-up it was clear. I've seen the webs (i don't know call them) infiltrate whole stands of trees. I love that you took the subject in this direction, no cliches seen for miles.
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I am glad you got the gypsy reference and that you didn't find it terribly cliche... I have been nervous about that line but found it necessary to make it a Moth write...
Thank you for the kind words and putting my mind at ease a bit
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I enjoyed this. It is a very visual piece of free verse. Indeed it is like a horror movie. Had I not know what lepioptera was, I would have assumed this to be a darkly written poem about monsters in the woods.
Great job.
Mike
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Great
The butterfly -
Lurvely! I've had the good fortune of snapping some great lepidoptera pics lately, in particular two white admirals and a viceroy. This poem sounds more like lepidoptera in the larval stage... hate thinking about that when I read the last line!
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well done
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wow, what a good write! I particularly like the line 'gypsies gave no rest' it just sends chills down the spine. I've always loved the look of those gnarled trees. I wish you the best of luck in the contest
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"horny, deep rooted thistles
watched you leave
as if some horror movie
unrolled like
phantasm vegetation"
You got me in and held me fast. Great writing.
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yeesh
lol
this has the effect of heebie jeebies, but i think that is very cool, actually
a scratchy and stark write
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I hate wriggly things...squish it! Now
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to: account disabled,
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shhh
don't talk in the middle of the popcorn
err movie -
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hee heee you make me laugh!!!
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