happy endings.

If I lose this, lose us, lose you…
I promise I will never go looking again.
[Not that I would find anyone else]
But instead a promise to become a corpse,
Collapsing under your words,
And the foundation of what was once us.
Because the word forever, in my eyes is and has been
A contradiction from the moment you first said it.
Broken bones are penetrating through the surface of my skin.
I really am just fragile underneath everything.
You are just another pointless aspect,
And nothing more than a blank page in the story of my life.
I never knew enough about you,
From which I could go off of anyway.
Maybe there was never really enough to tell,
Or maybe I was just so used to your lies,
That I couldn’t comprehend the truth,
Even if it was beating the living hell out of me.
[Like I wish you would…
So at least I would feel something]
You tell me that it is I, who has been suffocating you,
And that all this time you’ve been trying to escape me.
[But I just wouldn’t let you,
Because I needed you more than you could ever know]
Have I really been oblivious to the truth?
I can’t distinguish side to side, up from down.
Even though down is all that I am familiar with.
All those nights that you would use your words to build me up,
Only to tear them away and watch me come crashing down.
It didn’t take that much conviction on my part…
To force myself to believe that this was love,
And even if it wasn’t, I didn’t deserve to be loved regardless.
Once upon a time I believed in fairy tales, and happily ever afters…
But a girl like me was never meant to have a happy ending.