Time slows down to the point of tracers; the light of your eyes and a cigarette hanging from between your lips. I'm singing... dancing... in the comfort of my mind, swaying with the innocent breeze of the afernoon; and I barely know you.. but I think I love you.
Slow down... breathe... inhale this moment
The complexity of life boils down to this; you, me and this moment. The smile of a stranger, the sound of the birds, love. Remember this, remember us, remember the smell of the grass in the park. Learn from the flowers; be a natural beauty.Live free and fly when ever it suits you most. Sink in, breathe deep and smile.
Slow down... breathe... inhale this moment...
It's yours.
Author notes
This... came out of nowhere.
It's how I see life in general, and I love that quote.
Well, I hope you enjoy it, but even if you don't, thank you for the contest!
- Comments for All group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Breathe........A Morning Quickie (48 hrs) by poet2angels.
550 points, ended September 14, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Aww, you've shown us the beauty of life and love. Amazing job!!
Nela
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not the work I usually like either but you managed to pull this off quite well
I love the last line...great ending to this piece!! xx
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Lovely sentiment, express well. Good flow and theme.
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not the work i usually like
but it was pretty affordable
well penned. and beautiful worded
thanks for sharing
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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nice sentiment
A few small typos, but I liked where you went with this write.
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I enjoyed this so much!
It's unforced yet so beautiful.
I loved the lines "live free and fly whenever it suits you most. Sink in, breathe deep and smile."
It's inspiring and romantic without being overly soppy/dramatic. Loved it.
abi
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Very good!
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gorgeous
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Y'know, it's amazing how many poets on here are simply amazing. Goosebumps ran down me as I read, a sign that I really loved it. I'm sorry I am not writing so much but I'm really really tired and get almost no computer time; the last time I even got on the computer was almost a week ago....When I get more I will either comment or send you a great message.
<3
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ahhhh! more romance. i am so tired of romance. =\ its an excellentpoem. theres no lie there. its great. and beautiful but i am so tired of romance and false notions of true love.
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this is beautiful,
i adore it.
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this is a beautiful poem , i think it is so sweet and simple <3
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cool i love it!! with sounds like something from the twilight series lol( that's a very good thing)
i love how romantic it is . I love the way the poem flows as if love was gasping for air looking for the oxygen to stay alive great jobb!!
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Nice flow very good.
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Beautiful written, I just loved it! keep up the good work! ^^
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I liked the structure.The flow is nice.Good imagery .Keep it up !
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well theres an amazing way to describe love at first site. awsome write. I really enjoy your description of time slowing down
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AFTERNOON NEEDS TO BE SPELT. aLSO SOME THINGS NEEEDS TO BE CAPITALIZED OR A SPACE BETWEEN. Spell check yet it sounds very mature the way it is writtten. I love that first sentence
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its sweet. its a good write.
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very nice and soothing
great write!
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Very enjoyable. Sounds as if you breathed it out. Just flows..
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This is beautiful! I love it!
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wow
I like it. there's a lot of emotion in it, and the flow is good too.
Much Love and Keep Writing,
~Alicia Lynn
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Great imagry and structure, it flows nicely=)
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this is beautiful. amazing use of imagry
i love th format, how its like full paragraphs with a few shorter lines. i love it i love it i love it.
I'm singing... dancing... in the comfort of my mind, swaying with the innocent breeze of the afernoon;
i love love love that line^^
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this is really good
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This is actually quite lovely. The sort of mini-paragraph format you've got going kind of makes this seem like a ripped-out page of your diary or something. If you like it that way, jolly good show. If not, maybe experiment with breaking the lines in different places.
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Beautiful write! I think I did something like this once...at least with the slowing down and breathing part I know I've used that. Anyways the piece is great. it's short, simple, sweet, and to the point. Great write
and good luck!
Sincerely,
Toddy
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This is a great prose-piece. Romantic, serene, and stable.... everything I am not
Indeed, love is calming, and I do believe it is bringing me out of my non-sappiness
This line is my favourite:
"Learn from the flowers; be a natural beauty."
Stunning imagery... Well done!
Laura, aka Immortal
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Whimsical
It sounds like you wrote this in the moment.
"Learn from the flowers; be a natural beauty." I love that line. The poem is lovely and heartfelt. I love when such poetry spills from the pen.
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This was very good.
I think my favorite part of this (and the most interesting) is:
"and I barely know you.. but I think I love you."
Isn't that weird how that happens to us sometimes?
Well penned
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well, if this is the kind of stuff that comes from out of nowhere, than i'd like to read your poems that you really thought about. xD This was an amazing poem, it was filled with such great imagry and passion. It was wonderful to read
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I really love this. It has such a peaceful feel to it. This is so beautifully written. I love all of the descriptions and details that you added. It adds so much to the imagery and the power of the poem. Amazing write bbi.
x
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Indeed, a lovely, relaxing prose-piece. I thoroughly enjoyed each gulp of that delicious morning air!
Bravissima!
Laura, aka Immortal
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This is lovely!
It reminds me of a romantic scene in a movie..So beautiful ! TY for entering...
Lynda
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It may have come out of no where but it is a wonderful read!
So happy to come across this poem.
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