Behold, a raft of emerald
enfolds a timeless cairn
where once a grieving family
laid rest their precious bairn.
From this a legend swelled like rain
as children came to pray;
for those with troubles, pain or doubt
were freed from their dismay.
The greatest tale of love and hope
that came from this dear place,
was that of little Sally Blake
who always hid her face...
At three, she'd had an accident
and fell into the fire;
from then she knew she never could
inflame a man's desire.
One day she happened on the cairn
and felt its ancient charm,
and suddenly, with hope anew
she knew it meant no harm.
Gently, then, she dropped her veil
and tilted back her head;
the sunlight warmed her ghastly scars
and soothed her constant dread.
No one knows how long she sat,
nor quite how it transpired,
but from that day hence, young Sally's face
was famously admired.
A contest entry
- Pic !! tell me what you see. by Philleebee8.
300 points, ended September 17, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Great Job Lou!!!
I say what Winklings said! (I'd say more but I had to look up the word "cairn". I sort of understood it from context, but certainly not a word I use every day!)
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This poem has charm and a charm!
You have used the ballad rhyme, abcb, etc. And, you have done this exceedingly well.
The title is an enigmatic one and encourages one to read on. The alternation of rising rhythm tetrameters and trimetrs also establish this truly ballad style. I loved this narrative. It is memorable and stylish and responds, also, to the picture well. Good on you, Lou.
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Very nice,
great write, im keeping my eye on this one=] -
Beautiful!
What a beautiful piece!
I very much enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing it!
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