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Gums

In the year nineteen seventy eight

the porn version of Jaws was released

An epic of forgettable proportions

As patrons left feeling fleeced.

 

The opening scenes were similar

A party down on the beach

A randy young man goes for a swim

But it’s not a shark that rises from the deep

 

Just a horny young mermaid

With evil on her mind

And amongst the seaweed

a scrotum they will find.

 

They hire a boat to hunt down

this troublesome fishy wench

It seemed she wanted one thing

Young fresh seamen was her vent

 

To say this movie Sucked

And that it was written by Muppets  

When half way through they sacked the crew

and replaced the cast with puppets

 

It has to be in the top ten

Of the worst movie I have ever seen

Up there with Killer tomatoes

And the runaway Beans

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • NyteShade
    November 24
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    haha replacing the cast with puppets. Found this very entertaining to read, great job.

  • magnusprime1
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    i found this to be extremely humurous... ive never seen killer tomatoes..now i want to... i loved how ou talked about it being written by muppets. btw thanks for the excellent reviews on my poetry...recently i believe i posted my most powerful piece..it is called "She told me" i would love to hear your opinion!


  • faderman1959
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I've never heard of this movie and from your poem I can understand why! If the movie is even half as much fun as your poem I would probably check it out. I'll never look at a mermaid the same way. Great fun!


  • Granny Goose silver member
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lol... You saw Killer Tomatoes, too That had to be just about the worst movie I ever saw.
    (Please don't tell anyone that Granny Goose read this poem of deep sea porno)

    I'm shocked at what this mermaid does and that Muppets would have anything to do with it. I must say, though, that those little fakers are not the sweet innocent things our children are led to believe in.

    But then we all have our dirty little secrets... like Granny reading porno on the side

    Granny Goose


  • Touchof1der silver member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Is this for real? I never heard of a movie such as this. Not that I would be looking for this kind of movie mind you. This is freakin' hilarious. I am forever amazed at what the movie companies put out all under the name of "entertainment". I am sure your version here was much more amusing. Great job! Best of luck to you in the contest. I appreciate your taking the time and making the effort to enter. I hope it proved to be an enjoyable experience and challenge for you.
    ♥ Touchof1der

1 - 5 of 5