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Autumn...**

 *

 

Hostilities affirmed too soon,

Cold skirmishes of frost lay near,

New casualties some gold lay strewn,

Small signs show struggles most severe.

 

Too quick this sight since last campaign,

Used up we watched the healing spring,

Yet here again are newly slain,

As birds, do gather on wild wing.

 

Oh why do months more quickly pass,

And I less set with each New Year,

Where every battle does harass,

When young I welcomed with a cheer.

 

I guess defeat once more ordained,

Cold wintry storms mixed ice and snow,

I do not wish it be explained,

For I wish not to really know.

 

*

 

Yet I consider all I see,

And try to fathom what I must,

For rationale among debris,

A great deal more than dust to dust.

 

Their struggles bleed in colors warmed,

Strong limbs go bare fast shedding cloak,

To ground they lay in death transformed,

Warm whirling winds seem to provoke.

 

With dead laid deep they are not gone,

But rest for yet another day,

Till in their stead new rise one dawn,

Fresh growth gains force from Nature's tray.

 

I see new autumns near aligned,

Where as red leaves I too will fall,

For as this life fiercely entwined,

Too soon may I brightly enthrall.

 

*

 

Autumn...

 

Wandika

September 8th, 2008

Author notes

"Winter waits"
Wandika

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • Justin Stone
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    It was good to a point. However it was lacking the zing that keeps my heart racing and my mind entranced. I just felt an over all lack of emotion, and a lack of command. Also the flow was a little forced sounding. These are all just my persoanl reactions and I hope you dont take offence.

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very lovely poem. I found some of the sentiments written about in these lines to be familiar. I typically love the autumn and yet, this year, I missed an entire season of glory because I spent it anxious and worried, knowing winter was coming and I was unprepared.

    I hope I never lose another season as I did this one.

    s and best wishes always... ~genie~


    • Wandika gold member
      December 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Too Bad

      As we get older we need to look around more closely and breath in each moment. I am sure your next year will be as it should. Thank you for your comment.

      Jim


  • deercatcher
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Naw. Youre gonna live forever...


  • Patpowers silver member
    September 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi Jim. Nice work on the imagery portrayed in this poem with the change of seasons. Brilliant work as always. THANKS!!!


    • Wandika gold member
      September 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Pat

      Been out of town and just got back.
      Just read your note on the poem "Autumn".

      Jim


  • trekkergirl
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You use imagery very well with this poem. I think the background went well also with this poem. Leads to what you were saying. This is very nice. Thanks for sharing it.

    • Wandika gold member
      September 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      I appreciate your comment.

      Jim


  • shannon.green
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Simply wonderful! Your descriptions leave me in awe! Love it! Well done.
    Shannon
    this poem won 1st in my eyes

    • Wandika gold member
      September 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you.

      I am glad you liked the poem.

      Jim


  • Bosiarbooger gold member
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Simply beautiful

    The very first stanza blew me away what a way to start. Then leading winding through the rest of the story. Well done, Boog

    • Wandika gold member
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      I do appreciate your kind comment.

      Jim


  • DennisP1
    September 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love the way this poem could be used as a metaphor for what is going on in the world today..

    Excellently written my friend!

    Bravo.

    Den

    • Wandika gold member
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you for reading my entry and your comment.


      Jim

  • trekkergirl
    September 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is well done


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful rhyme as always and Autumn is too soon turning to winter...
    I loved this. ~Pamela


    • Wandika gold member
      September 23, 2008

      Edit | Reply

      Pam

      Thanks for your lovely comment on "Autumn". I always get a pleasure out of what you write in your comments to me.

      Jim


  • hannahthemaid
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    All too soon what was is not
    As though flakes of time entwined inside of all instinct ever
    now and forevermore to come
    hush us to sleep ...


  • NeonRose
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Marking our lives by seasons..so beautifully done! I really enjoyed this write.


    • Wandika gold member
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Easier

      as we get older to corrolate our age with the late seasons of the year. Thanks for your nice comment.

      Jim


  • DennisP1
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The Autumn years are a tough time to go through, my friend. It is in them we come to accept our own mortality. Like in an hour glass the sands of time for us are running out and all we can do is scratch out our wisdom upon the eternal tree of life.

    This was my way of expressing the idea.
    http://allpoetry.com/poem/1539143
    I think you may find it interesting


    I liked your poem by the way.. And wish you the very best of luck in the contest.

    • Wandika gold member
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Enjoyed your poem

      and I truely appreciate your reading this one and both of your comments.

      Jim


  • Legend silver member
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Jim an excellent look at Autumn,i love the take you made, it is so easy to slip into clichés when writing about seasons.a lovely pleasant change well done Good luck in the contest


    • Wandika gold member
      September 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Legend

      The praise you bestow is greatly appreciated especially coming from a talent such as yours.

      Jim

  • Eusebius
    September 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A fine seasonal poem with good rhyme and meter throughout... bravo... bravo....


    • Wandika gold member
      September 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Michael

      I appreciate your time to read my poem.
      I will expect a signed copy of your book someday at your book signing. Looking forward to it.

      Jim

  • mcheadle
    September 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Very deep in thought you were

    A good write, all in all...mac


    • Wandika gold member
      September 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you.

      I was just paralleling mans autumn with this season. Not too deep, just vague.

      Thanks for the comment and applause.

      Jim

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