Depression surrounding me
walls built……
~~~~C
~~~~~R
~~~~~~A
~~~~~~~C
~~~~-----K
~~~~~~I
~~~~N
~~~G
Openings appear
raw edges
scraping wounds
not yet healed.
Facing scars
I don’t want to see,
I brace myself…
As my world caves in.
Author notes
option #6
http://amytk.deviantart.com/art/to-let-the-light-in-50532490
30 words
this isn't what I wanted, but my muse is being stubborn...lol
A contest entry
- Quickie Anyone??? You Know You Want To... by Sweet Impatience.
720 points, ended September 9, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Congratulations on the Bronze Trophy..
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Thanks kat!
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a bronze for a stubborn muse ? lovely take on the prompt hun "raw edges scraping wounds" love the thought of imagery in this line, just killer
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Thanks Rob - glad you enjoyed 'mental flaws'....
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I love all your words and the flow and text is amazing
How true those wounds are in life at times
Well done on the bronze
Julie
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Thank you Julie - I'm glad you enjoyed this.
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i did not find it dark
with time on this earth we get scars they truly are hard to face but we most to get past them.
So i found this a very well written work
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Thank you rc3 - glad you enjoyed.
I really didn't mean it as dark - other than the dark inside that sometimes must be faced - and when you have to face it, it sometimes feels like your whole world is caving in on you. At least, those were my lst thoughts...lol
best wishes
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Hello. 30 words is tough to play with, but considering the picture which is another imposition, I think is a good effort, and I like the 'cracking' thing. It is a an interesting take, for I think you have got the inverse of the picture, that looks like the black and white is falling away, but yours is a different take, not good or bad, just an observation, ahahha. I wish you well in the contest. My regards.
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Thank you Ace - just my thoughts on that picture - yes, I think I did have the 'inverse'...lol
the 'cracking' thing was an impulse to try something different.
Glad you enjoyed.
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your muse maybe being stubborn, but if this is a reflection of that, then I think that your muse needs a pat on the back. I love the form that you used for this poem. the words that you chose were excellent. this is a very powerful & dark write.
Excellent job on the prompt & the poem
good luck
kat
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Thank you kat - glad you liked
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Stubborn....and dark!
I enjoyed it though....I always enjoy your writes!!
Thanks for sharing!
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Thank you so much 'islekine' - glad you enjoyed my 'dark streak'...lol
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Oh wow hunni this is new from you! Love the presentation and the write...wow so rich and powerful, the emotions a so raw, ouch! But fantastic bit of darkness! I love it Good luck!
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Thank you so much LadyD - glad you enjoyed my 'walk on the wild side'...lolol
just an experiment, I guess
best wishes
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interesting take on the prompt~
i think i was picturing the opposite, but you've worded this direction very well. nicely done!
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Thank you so much 'Xianaira' for your lovely comment. I am pleased you enjoyed this.
best wishes
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this is very different for you..i notice when the muse isn't cooperating that usually I a growing as a writer..(not saying that this is bad...IT ISN'T)..it just isn't your normal style..but your imagery and the way you arranged this write gives it a big impact..thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest..blessings..namaste..
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Thank you so much 'vici377' - I pleased you enjoyed this 'waltz on the wild side'- for me...lolol
best wishes
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Nicely done... a great use of form to emphasize your words... and a wicked use of phrases... "raw" "scars"... all combine to bring this to light (or should that be dark
)... Best of luck...
Ken
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Thank you 'KayJay46' - glad you enjoyed.
best wishes
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Facing scars
I don’t want to see,
I brace myself…
A fine choice of descriptive words. This is my favorite part of the poem. It draws out an emptiness that shows in the over all work of the picture. The way you begin with the idea of depression and end with a the words, my world caves in, shows how close you drew to your subject matter in the illustration.
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Thank you so much 'Rovingone' for your lovely comment. I appreciate it, and am pleased you enjoyed this.
best wishes
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Well this is different then your usual writes I have read but still it is good thansk for sharing goodluck in the contest much love always
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Thank you Starz - different how?...lol...I like 'dark'....
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