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the lost one

One small light
Lost in the big dark forest

Separated
Lost
Alone
Afraid

She sits
Staring across the lake
Thinking about home

Author notes

sorry this is 4 kinds of crappy

A contest entry

please be brutally honest :)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 33 of 33

  • ChrissyJean
    March 26
    Edit | Reply
    This is great! Its short yet is fully packed with emotion Its painful and I love it!


  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    I think it is great. I love it. Reminds me of something I would write lately. I loved it, every single bit of it!


  • Next in line
    November 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Great

    This was great Beach, it was short and had so much emotion in it. Great job!


  • Rhythm Child
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was brilliant !!!! it created such a powerful image in my head, i loved it it was one word
    BEAUTIFUL
    or
    PERFECT
    eithers good


  • poetrandy
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very good!

    I love the expression of your frustrated feelings in this little poem! A list type of poem -- you've done a great job. Keep up the good work and cheer up, dear! Luv ya!


  • evanna
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love it laura.. sweet, touching and NOT crappy
    take good care


  • trekkergirl
    September 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is so short but really says a lot. Good imagery here.


  • SouthernDownpour
    September 18, 2008

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    this reminds me of a book i once read called the black swan. sometimes i wonder where home really is. great write hun

  • eatmydirt
    September 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    love it the legnth is perfect not to long or short right to the point awesome!


  • Lowell Poe
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a snapshot lass...
    a moment in time...
    longing for home...
    Just beautiful.
    If I knew the way,
    I would take you home.

    Blessings gypsy,
    many blessings.
    LOWELL

  • ssDss
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Not Crappy!!

    I like this...Nothing that I have read has been crappy...A lot of people just don't get it!! Keep it up...


  • Celinda Luna
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very forlorn tone set here. And chilly - not so much from the location as something possibly hurtful and cruel that has happened to her.


  • peridotPixi
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like this i dont think its crap thank you for your entry to my fairy contest, i think this realates to me because i am far away from home right now and i can see myself staring across that lake,
    keep up the writing,
    ~Amy


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    i really liked this poem

    being lost and alone, i have been there emotionally i dont want to go there again, thank you for sharing, for only having 9 lines they are packed with lonellness,longing

    Blessing Lil miss

    Take care


    Rend


  • Lil-Bit Crazy
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like this..... deep and dark..... i like deep and dark...... you did 4 kinds of good.... hehe... good luck in contest.....!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    September 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Intreresting

    It gives one the sense of her silence within the loneliness and how she waits


  • The Drifter
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I feel hopelessness and longing on her part--waiting to be rescued if there is any recue. Haunting
    I like.

1 - 33 of 33