Condemned
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Author notes
Pantoum, double internal rhyme.
Art work by: Chrissy Daniels
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i desperately want to read the poem for content and then feel like a pig because i am distracted by the exposed nipple...
if this is a picture of you, could you send more?
i like it when dark poems rhyme and when rhyming poems are dark... the repetition in this case kind of reminds me of a downward spiral... it works on multiple levels... thank you for the entry -
Wowzers!! What a darkly rich poem you have penned here!! The picture is perfect for your words also!
A feast of dark descriptions here.. fantastic!
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Damn Amera, where you been hiding her?
Set me up so I can make her as clean cut as me???
Really
Dad
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Breathtaking work!
This is masterful, form based writing. Quite how you have achieved a poem as truly great as this within the confines you have set yourself is nothing short of astonishing. This could so easily have fallen flat in the hands of only slightly lesser mortals - instead, we have a masterpiece - and I do not use that term lightly!
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*shakes head in amazement*
What a read this one is! I am never let down when I visit you my sweet sister. This is truly beyond words! And this background... OMG! How wonderfully it fits this piece! Truly A Mater Poet wanders the halls of AllPoetry!
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
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Hmmmmmmmmm this is very interesting.
I liked the way its put together,
the flow is different but mind candy.
Good luck.
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Hi, Amera!!!!! It's Paloszoo! What can I say? I love your writing. The internal rhyming is to die for, as is the flow and form. Good luck in the contest. It's a gold from me at any rate ;-)
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Wonderfully constructed rhyming and the pantoum repeats seem softened by the internal rhyming.
You are as god a dark poet as there is on AP but this must be the first time you have posed as the model for one of your own poems ...
Great stuff!
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Well done, with a great picture in your description. I like the way you wrote the poem too. Interesting style, which I haven't been introduced to before this. It makes a good flowing poem.
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What a wonderfully complex rhyme scheme. I am in awe. You have taken the form of the pantoum and modified it in a most ingenious way to create something very strong in form and image. Great imagination and language, too. This has everything one could want from a poem.
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