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Condemned

Missing image

Condemned

Demonic dungeons, dark and damp
Strapped with shackles to a dank wall
Sardonic abrasions, swollen cramp
Trapped and girdled, chained to a ball

Strapped with shackles to a dank wall
Chains that bind my sore swollen wrists
Trapped and girdled, chained to a ball
Membranes entwined in bloodless cysts

Chains that bind my sore swollen wrists
Rust coated steel, festering wounds
Membranes entwined in bloodless cysts
All for the zeal of golden doubloons

Chains that bind my sore swollen wrists
Negations and actions condemn the tramp
Membranes entwined in bloodless cysts
Demonic dungeons, dark and damp

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

 Pantoum, double internal rhyme.

Art work by: Chrissy Daniels

 

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • ellipsist
    September 24, 2008

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    i desperately want to read the poem for content and then feel like a pig because i am distracted by the exposed nipple...

    if this is a picture of you, could you send more?

    i like it when dark poems rhyme and when rhyming poems are dark... the repetition in this case kind of reminds me of a downward spiral... it works on multiple levels... thank you for the entry


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 10, 2008

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    Wowzers!! What a darkly rich poem you have penned here!! The picture is perfect for your words also!

    A feast of dark descriptions here.. fantastic!


  • JohnnyD gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Damn Amera, where you been hiding her?

    Set me up so I can make her as clean cut as me???

    Really

    Dad


  • Emerald Dog
    September 9, 2008

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    Breathtaking work!

    This is masterful, form based writing. Quite how you have achieved a poem as truly great as this within the confines you have set yourself is nothing short of astonishing. This could so easily have fallen flat in the hands of only slightly lesser mortals - instead, we have a masterpiece - and I do not use that term lightly!


  • StarEyes
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    *shakes head in amazement*

    What a read this one is! I am never let down when I visit you my sweet sister. This is truly beyond words! And this background... OMG! How wonderfully it fits this piece! Truly A Mater Poet wanders the halls of AllPoetry!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • Myjoy gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmmmmmmmm this is very interesting.
    I liked the way its put together,
    the flow is different but mind candy.
    Good luck.


  • Paloszoo gold member
    September 9, 2008

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    Hi, Amera!!!!! It's Paloszoo! What can I say? I love your writing. The internal rhyming is to die for, as is the flow and form. Good luck in the contest. It's a gold from me at any rate ;-)


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 9, 2008

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    Wonderfully constructed rhyming and the pantoum repeats seem softened by the internal rhyming.
    You are as god a dark poet as there is on AP but this must be the first time you have posed as the model for one of your own poems ...



    Great stuff!


  • Rovingone gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well done, with a great picture in your description. I like the way you wrote the poem too. Interesting style, which I haven't been introduced to before this. It makes a good flowing poem.


  • PerVirtuous
    September 9, 2008

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    What a wonderfully complex rhyme scheme. I am in awe. You have taken the form of the pantoum and modified it in a most ingenious way to create something very strong in form and image. Great imagination and language, too. This has everything one could want from a poem.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    September 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply



1 - 11 of 11