when the light
finally darkens
there will be spent glass
and searing pain
milky white flesh
shattered skin
and a need to
have that famous aha moment
if only i could twist myself
into a base
pulling energy enough to
survive
:click:
Author notes
20-50 words prompt pic #3
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt (PIF) by kiwigirljacks.
900 points, ended September 13, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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First stanza made me think of the pain that comes when something cherished comes to an end! And then the searching of meaning from it..
Love that ending too! Sometimes I have to fight for that energy mysef!
Fab write!
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Great write!
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Like LadyDementia said...this has a phantastic flow...
No, really.
Your line breaks are flawless, and that's admirable. I love that the poem begins with 'when'--it's as good a word as any to begin a circumstance in a poem. "spent glass & searing pain"...great phrase.
The "aha moment" you talk about makes me think of a haiku, to be honest...
I think your 'twist' could be replaced with another word...or maybe not. It just doesn't seem to belong there (to me).
Good luck
Jessica
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Awesome take, flow is fantastic. Good luck
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