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Destiny's Debut

Missing image


Twisting thoughts pulsate

distorted minds relate

lost in time's hue.

Pure vibrancy lights
no moon tranquil nights

visions cut through.

Swallow more pills

dreams become still

as hope you pursue.

Fate plays its game

each day the same

life's subtle rue.

Tear free of restraints
a new path to paint

destiny's debut.

 

 

Author notes

Pic prompt
Credit Artist: http://cades2k4.deviantart.com/art/Limits-91876786

count 52, only just seen that bit >.<

Not my usual. Wanted to play with 3 lines instead of 4

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • VoltaicHypnosis gold member
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ohhhh..... ohohohhhh...

    --claps, still mesmerised by your wonderful artworks, collective--

    Wonderful, wonderful work..


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love the strength at the end here! Starting out I was like.. oh gosh, that's my life right there, especially:
    "Swallow more pills
    dreams become still"

    But the ending was so uplifting and encouraging. Fab take on the pic!


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My friend i just sin here and i say bravo, bravo to one of the dark mistresses of All poetry, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • notorious
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your title should be==>Destiny's Debut

    times hue==>time's hue
    And the last line...again, should be "Destiny's Debut".

    Oh my God...I forgot about the word count.

    LoL I think you were inside the word count & made it work so well, in your usual style.


    Jessica


  • jcat gold member
    September 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That last stanza is just pure brilliance!!! I just adore this.....excellent job and best wishes


  • written-in-ink
    September 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    amazing

    i love it so much you have no idea!!!

    good job


  • Doll Faise
    September 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. Neat plays with rhyme. I like it. Good luck.


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing !
    A fantastic poem hun
    Held me captive that is for sure
    Best wishes in the contest
    Julie


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!!!

    Love the rhyme scheme, flows with grace & elogance...
    And such imagery that was enthralling & had me captivated throughout...
    Yet another fantastic write...
    Well done!!!

1 - 9 of 9