I found a moth, dead and gently decaying
against the skirting boards of my mind.
With shaking hands I let it slip,
gliding downwards on broken wings.
Air that once held it's living weight
parted to let the fragile creature rest between flowers
so vibrant against the uniform brown of lost life[hope].
And as the dust rose beneath the stiff wings;
I too began to fall.
Only to land deep within the sea of change.
Waves beat against my fading heart
as I struggled to remain above the rolling mist
you left to sit so carelessly over my eyes.
The orange life jacket my mother had tied around
my waist did nothing to keep me afloat.
With your silver heart tearing at my wind pipe,
it was all I could do to breathe the foam that beat my body
until it was as dark and cold as the waters surrounding it.
You left me drowning in memories of faded, wasted hearts.
Listening to a tune I once plucked out on broken strings,
while trying to sticky-tape my name to yours.
And I finally realised;
You wont be there to catch me when I catch my breath.
Author notes
- We have the right to make you write in any form/style/type of poetry there is on this planet. We will literally murder ourselves sometimes by trying to find even at least one bizarre form. But, then again, you may have easy things too. Or maybe not. You never know.
- We have the right to make you vote for other contestant. You may have to vote other contestants out, or vote to give contestants immunity, or even vote them president, or never vote for them at all. Again, you never know. We don't know either.
- We have the right to eliminate as many people as we want. We may not eliminate anyone until like the second last round. Or we may eliminate almost everyone in the first round and have the contest super short. Again, you never know!
- We have the right to make you write on any genre. Monkeys from another planet, hope, hatred, beauitful underwear. Please don't enter if you are easily offended, as you may have to write on some touchy or controversial topics. Or, you may not. You just can't tell!
- We have the right to disqualify you if we are not pleased by your behaviour, or actions, or something with your poetry (though, most likely not the last one). Though, this is unplanned, you still need to be respectful.
- We have the right to be completely honest with your work. Whatever we say is only said to help you improve as a poet.
- We have the right to run this contest any way we want to. Because thats the way it goes.
- We have the right to throw any twists into this contest as we want to, especially if is for our own amusement.
- Mostly, we have the right to make you grow as a poet, and enjoy yourself.
I, Steph (OneLastThing--x) agree that I have read these terms of use and will hereby abide by the law.
'We have the right to throw twists in at any point in time and torture your muse for our own amusement.'
A contest entry
- Something for the Memories. by The.Stars.Go.Blue.
700 points, ended September 24, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - UNPLANNED: as unexpected as you [preliminary round] by Never Fall in Love.
400 points, ended December 22, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
yes.
I agree with what ryan said below. You do have great potential - what I found was out of place was that some of the images were too wordy.
You're in, congrats x.
http://allpoetry.com/group/show/UNPLANNED%20as%20unexpected%20as%20you
-
Yes
I thought, individually, the images where fantastic and worked well as metaphors, but together, I felt like there wasn't a big enough connection between the two. Also; I think, especially in the second half your phrasing fell through and it didn't sound like a very poetic voice.
However, I really liked this, I thought it was really well done. It was a brilliant and showed your potential as an artist
-
OMG!
This was friggin amazing...I loved it oh so very much...I can't even say much about it. Your an amazing poet. KEEP WRITING =D
-
Jesus Christ. Thank you for this poem in my contest. I really love the way you approached the option at hand, and your take on everything was spectacular. I can relate to this, and I feel very close to you in that aspect. Everything about this poem was amazing. Please continue to enter my contests. =]
-
Lovely.
Strong and vibrant imagery & metaphors.
I really enjoyed reading this,
Thank you
-
-
Thanks for the comment.
-Steph
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
