today i read your pain
and watched mine be put aside
and screamed at the cloud that
chases you down every street
and bit my nails till blood
could drip no more, and encircled
us both.
tonight I asked the gods of
poetry to give you strength
but angst would not be taken
away, because spilling it will
remind you and me why we live.
more-so, I looked up to an even
sky and a touring bird and
a flock of love that languished
on every part of me -
and this happened because I
care that you live, so that
i can too.
your words are breath that
I breathe.
Author notes
For Slug
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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amazingly written, beautifully expressed... excellent indeed!!
i enjoyed reading it...
take care and keep on writing... -
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Thank you so much for the lovely comment
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I enjoyed reading this poem. It's beautiful.
The only issue I can find with it is grammatical. I'm almost sure you meant '...asked the gods of'. god's would only be correct if it were one god and he owned the of.
Be Well,
Mark
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oops, i just noticed the error. Thanks for letting me know and your awesome comment.
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You just know instantly when a poem works. Just by visuel side of it.
Without a doubt you've got the most beautiful picture here.
And that's not just because of your face;-)
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all of your writes so far the ones I read are like a song called hUman nature MJ
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This is beautiful. I can really relate to this as I have a friend that is going through a difficult time and doesn't know how to deal with it. I can see it's tearing him apart and his personality has changed so much - to the point it's almost not him.
From the start I loved this, I think you have written something incredibly special here. -
mesmirising
i havent read such a beautiful piece in a while. i was truly mesmerised with your words x -
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Wow, thank you so much for the compliment. I'm urprised that people really like this poem.
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from the first two lines until the beautiful ending two, a delight and privilegeto read. thanks for sharing an emotional and moving write.
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Interesting, very, a pen that one
Inhales, rather than simply
Reads.
Excellent metaphors in each stanza,
Especially, (to me);
“A touring bird and
a flock of love”
And last seven words
Simply- well breathless?
Len
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Such a total enveloping of emotions, "every part of me".
It read so fast and was kind of a let down at then end, let down that it was over that is. I liked this very much!
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Thank you Oisin...Slug is a writer on this site, young with depth that's unbelievable. She removed her poetry and secretly goes around reading poems and sometimes commenting. I miss her writes.
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honey of the mind... breathable honey... bleedable honey... beauty encircles us both...
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OH, MY I remember reading this one! Breathtaking, AGAIN! Such depth and GIVING in these lines. Truly remarkable.
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OMG This was nothing short of stunning!
A beautiful beautiful expression
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Oh, I'm feelin' this girl. This kind of connection can not be matched, and really, it is what can make both troubles and blessing beautiful times. I love that image of the flock of love.. after your amazing cries of pain for your friend. What beautiful relief, and such a depth of understanding of self and of relationship.
I love this, and quite miss reading you.
ten
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gentle tender EveryWoman compassion shown int his.... I am drawn into the tender tug. Bravo!
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Sensual and chillingly beautiful. Yet another deeply moving, angelic write from one of AP's finest poets
~ Ink XOXOXOXOXOXO
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What a wonderfully heartfelt dedication! The gods of poetry are a fickle bunch, though. I especially adored these last bits:
"your words are breath that
I breathe."
Such simple wording, but it speaks volumes.
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wow, so earthy, yet ethereal, too. I think this is one of your best that I have read. I hope this relationship goes well.
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Captures a sorrowful beauty. Love always makes us begging fools LL. The heartful and honest poetic beauty that lies in this piece has stirred a tear from my eye. you are very talented, i am envious. I would like to add you as a favorite, with your permission of course. -T
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I had to return to this.. so tender write. You're too compassionate.
much love,
Slug
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This is incredibly beautiful, what a generous heart you have.
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Thank you Mallig, our hearts can give so much!
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Goosebumps!
I love the way you wrapped that up..."and this happened because I care that you live, so that
i can too your words are breath that I breathe."
Simply, delicious.
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Thank you so much pink...we are poets, and we possess gifts that must be shared.
Your friend,
LL
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Oh my . . . You are a kindred spirit to me Lady L . . . it's uncanny how things sometimes work. I was introduced to Gemma's work only yesterday, saw a raw and very talented young spirit behind her words, but found it difficult to get past the self doubt she possesses. So many of us who play the poetry game have this same nagging voice ridiculing us internally, but it is also the vulnerability, the sometimes incomprehensible desire to express ourselves that drives us on in our literary endeavours. Your poem is simply beautiful . . . it touches the heart and mind of anyone who explores the poetic realm and I thank you for the understanding and caring spirit that you carry within you . . .
peace my sister,
Marc
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Touching. Loved it from beginning to end. Don't know who Slug is but I'll look 'em up. Write on.
Dez
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I wrote this, because my spirit compelled me so. Poetry is powerful and with it... it can unite.
You are special, and I thought should know. -
very sweet
So heartfelt, so touching. You are a special woman, Lady L.
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What an utterly compassionate write Lady L.
she courtsey's to you
well done sister of my heart
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Oh - I'm shocked. These are the sweetest words anyone could have written. If I could write something so beautiful to you, I would... you've got me all choked up, I have no idea what to say. I agree with that Peteskid guy, to say the very least. Thankyou.
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
Love,.
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tender and heartfelt words here, determination to hold on and affirm something quite important, very expresssive writing... some deep feelings here...PK
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