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Enough Sleepless Nights



my heads clouded with memories;
[nights spent with me in your arms]
the sound of your voice in my ears--
    --back when it was sweet.
i cant stop thinking of you and me;
when we were actually something.
.or maybe it was something in my [dreams].
my eyes never seem to close,
never failing to stay open wide.
i just want to
  f
    a
      l
        l
into your presence;
(.please just make me feel alive.)
my body's so weak and my hearts broken,
memories eating my insides.
the stars are .t.w.i.n.k.l.i.n.g. in the sky,
on a thick blanket of dark blue.
i want to escape from my reality;
but i cant when my body won't sleep.


Author notes

Prompt-
Monday:
Enough Sleepless Nights

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • she still smiles x gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    This was beautiful!!! You really brought out the depth of the title. I used to not like dirty-pretty, but I started to find people who write with such vivid emotion and strength, and now I honestly care for it a lot more. My point is -- that you write with such emotion and strength and it makes the poem amazing!! Haha

    *(.please just make me feel alive.)
    my body's so weak and my hearts broken,
    memories eating my insides.
    the stars are .t.w.i.n.k.l.i.n.g. in the sky*

    Those were definitely my favorite lines. Very powerful, they really jumped out to me.

    I agree with my bff -- I think you will do very well in this contest als

    Thanks so much for entering and best of luck!!<3

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow You did a great job here sweety yes we all desire he true love that will keep us held in this world you did well goodluck in the contest much love always


  • DreamCatcher6
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    Beautiful piece...very powerful description of your emotions. We all definitely need that special someone in our life, but I agree with you it is hard to find the right one that can feed your soul without cutting you open later on. I can totally relate to this part
    “I just want to Fall into your presence; (.please just make me feel alive.)"
    I loved it. You are very talented, keep up the good work. Good luck on the contest.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wowww. I really liked this piece. I know the feeling; I've definitely been there. More than once, actually. You portrayed the feeling well. I especially loved:

    -i just want to
     f
    a
    l
    l
    into your presence;
    (.please just make me feel alive.)
    ...

    That last line in parentheses honestly sent chills up my spine. I think we need somebody like that in our lives. Very well put. I can relate sooo incredibly well. I also love how you added a little bit of Dirty-Pretty to this. It wasn't excessive at all. But this poem was overall just wow. You honestly put me in awe. Thank you for entering, & keep it up I think you'll do well in this contest. ♥


    • my.stars.dont.shine
      September 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. The prompt fits me well so things can just come out better- like my words.

      We do need someone like that in our lives but the problem is always finding the right person.. Finding the person that will keep you alive and not kill you later on.

      Thanks again.

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