Bother

I'm never beleaguered
when fragile sky
has already fallen

It's an annoyance
to guess what treachery
fate promises tomorow

I'd rather just lay here
with this building
on top of me

Author notes

The convenience of Hell.

A contest entry

Short, Simple and Amazing by Hello...No.One.Home. 300 points, ended September 11, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

By me, right now

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Hello...No.One.Home
September 11, 2008

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I really enjoyed this, the use of words made the poem come alive.

Nut while the message was sad i felt like the words were hollow. I not sure but it could be me.

Rose
Starz of Heaven
September 9, 2008

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This is really sad if you were no longer here it would devistate many and I do think that people make their on Hell and walk through it on this earth goodluck in the contest much love
notorious
September 8, 2008
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Oops...
notorious
September 8, 2008

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"when fragile sky/has already fallen"
DAMN, that makes me think of Sylvia Plath--not necessarily the way she'd write, but her life's perspective. I think those lines are FRUCKING EXCELENTE!!!!!!!!!!!
Nice...'fragile' is the perfect adjective...it feels fragile. The 'already' you use also works--has this "it's been awful for a long ass time" feel.

S2...you don't REALLY feel that way, do you?
Good writing there...of course.

And holy shit...that last stanza.
Well damn, you outdid the previous 2 and that's a damn hard thing to do...

You're amazing.

Jessica *devil
Cannonsfire
September 8, 2008
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Is hell really a place or just one we make for ourselves lol sometimes I am never sure. C
charcoal
September 8, 2008
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love your poem
every single word
the last three lines..short simple and amazing